MONO Lessons (Part XX: 401 - 419)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

401. I lose a LOT of respect for people if I find out they’re not a registered (and active) voter.

402. Just as decongestant nasal sprays can cause rebound congestion when overused, decongestant eye drops (“red eye” eye drops) will cause rebound congestion of the eye – rebound “red eye.”  Thankfully I didn’t learn this one by experience, but instead by researching allergy eye drops.  I now know too much about allergy eye drops.

403. When I’m not happy, I hate hearing songs telling me to be happy.

404. Sitting on stage at Spring Awakening sounds glamorous and all, and it is, but as RTH put it, “we were still sitting on props.”  My ass hurts.

405. These bodies of ours are insanely imperfect.  It’s a miracle any of us are alive in the first place.

406. There is a part of me that knows this body is only a temporary inhabitance.

407. Life can really look and feel horribly sucky.  It’s anything but fun to feel this way.

408. Sometimes I get MONO Lesson writer’s block, but then I write 10 other things in the meantime while I wait for it to pass.

409. Doublespeak is maddening.

410. Sausages are silly.

411. Valentine’s Day cookie making with the boyfriend = adorable idea by me.  Oh, and the cookies were amazing GF, DF, and EF delights.

412. Bananas are also kind of silly.  …But not as silly as sausages.

413. When it comes to sausages, my mom and I turn into 7 year olds.

414. If you’re feeling constipated and also happen to have a sinus infection, antibiotics help both.  Double duty, if you will.  Duty.

415. Helping feels good.

416. Sometimes, normally normal things seem weirder than they ought...while sometimes, something new and kind of weird and bizarre can feel totally natural.

417. It’s tough to tell whether a difficult situation which, whether you like it or not, has an affect on your relationship with somebody, will immensely enhance this relationship or steadily destroy it.

418. 3-4 prunes at breakfast each day helps things keep moving.

419. Prunes really do taste pretty good.  (Especially Paul Newman's prunes.)

Mono Lessons (Part IV: 67-82)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

67. A certain somebody snores.

68. Wrap it up.

69. The beauty of self-checkout in supermarkets.

70. Just because they’re your doctor doesn’t mean they’re right.

71. I already know and should quit pretending.

72. It feels good to give advice I’ve practiced myself.

73. Sometimes friends need a good ol’ figurative slap in the face.

74. Sometimes friends need a good ol’ literal slap in the face.

75. It’s really tough to get people to open their eyes. Especially in this place.

76. I have a lot of things I want to do.

77. I have passion.

78. It’s okay to tell people you have mono; they understand.

79. No matter how many people deny it, they hear mono and figure your lips get around.

80. Some people’s lips really do get around…

81. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small, small world.

82. Mono + Cold – Nasal Spray + Listerine Mouthwash = Attempted Suicide

Mono Lessons (Part III: 51-66)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

51. It could have been worse.

52. IKEA is one of the best ideas ever.

53. You can truly forgive without actually forgetting.

54. Some talent goes beyond my wildest dreams.

55. Gender and sexual orientation are 100x more complicated and confusing than I ever thought. And look whose talking.

56. “Gay” doesn’t quite cut it. But is there something that does?

57. You can’t get nasal spray vaccinations for the flu if you have some sort of preexisting condition.

58. It’s hard to stay “healthy enough” to have a chance to get a regular injected flu vaccine.

59. People use the most idiotic excuses to avoid taking responsibility.

60. I can actually work from home quite easily if I don’t have to call anybody.

61. The politics in that place are fucking bullshit. Oh wait, I knew that already. It was just reaffirmed…again. How redundant.

62. Kneaders has the best oatmeal raison cookies.

63. Butternut squash bisque from Paradise is amazing.

64. On ultra annoying nausea days, Chipotle is often the only thing I can fathom eating. Specifically the hard shell tacos.

65. Jessica and I have our mindless and hilarious conversations at work to help keep a satisfying level of sanity (or insanity).

66. Mono screwed with my:

a. Appetite

b. Skin

c. Scalp

d. Sinuses

e. Throat

f. Weight

g. Pants

h. Belts

i. Head

j. Judgment

k. Voice

l. Personality

m. Mood

n. Amount of sleep

o. Sleep patterns

p. Sleep schedule

q. Sleep in general, apparently

r. School schedule

s. Work schedule

t. Boy schedule

u. Friend schedule

v. Homework schedule

w. Probably my pancreas

x. Probably the sac around my heart

y. Stamina

z. Motivation

aa. Drive

bb. Heart rhythm

cc. Diet

dd. Hydration

ee. Potassium levels

Mono Lessons (Part I: 1-24)

And so begins the posting of my "Mono Lessons." As I mentioned earlier, I have a whole gigantic list of these written, so I will post them in smaller spurts.

I believe a lot of people who will be reading these are either specifically mentioned or alluded to in my "lessons." This could get rather interesting.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

1. It is difficult to stay healthy long enough to qualify for a flu vaccination.

2. It is so much more convenient and comfortable to breathe out of your nose. Hence, it is very likely to become addicted (literally) to nasal spray.

3. Your true friends are the ones who stick around knowing you haven’t been yourself for months on end.

4. Antibiotics for “sinus infections” will cause hives when you have mono. I guess it didn’t help that I also didn’t actually have a sinus infection in the first place.

5. Hives will get out of control if you don’t take an antihistamine and/or put Cortizone 10 on them as soon as you feel an outbreak occurring.

6. I’m allergic to Bactrim and Ceftin.

7. Mono will slow down room rearrangement projects…greatly.

8. Getting your blood drawn can actually be a non-horrific experience.

9. Being “too tired” is apparently only legitimate if you have a blood test to back it up.

10. Endless amounts of jokes can be made about mono all because someone decided to call it the “kissing disease.” Only thing is, it’s endless amounts of the SAME joke.

11. It is unbelievably hard for me to ask for less responsibility.

12. I hadn’t realized how emotionally invested I am/was in the UTemps Program. I had never bawled over taking time off before. It was devastating.

13. Bowling IS a sport.

14. I could actually be skinnier than I was.

15. What true nausea is.

16. Empathy for:

a. Mom

b. Dad

c. Sherri

d. Kelsey

e. Deanna

17. What fatigue is.

18. How much a pleasant memory is worth.

19. Boys can wait.

20. Most things can wait.

21. I can wait.

22. People can change. And those changed people will continue to surprise you.

23. Shattered friendships can begin to heal.

24. Some friendships need to end…or at least take a break.