I Believe

"I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows..."

Wait...no, no.  Don't worry.  I'm not going to start out with a cheesy LeAnn Rimes song.  No, what I want to talk about is all my traditionally sacrilegious beliefs.

Yep, you guessed it!  A list:

My Sacrilegious Articles of Faith

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God...doing science

God...doing science

  1. I believe there are other intelligent beings in our universe that we may one day contact.
  2. I believe I will one day have my own planet. 
  3. I believe I can have spirit children with another man. 
  4. I believe Jesus Christ married Mary Magdalene.
  5. I believe Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene had children with each other. 
  6. I believe the "Plan of Salvation" also fits for LGBT+ individuals. 
  7. I believe in aliens...to an extent. 
  8. I believe LDS prophets are men, not divine beings speaking only truth. 
  9. I believe I have a Heavenly Father as well as a Heavenly Mother. 
  10. I believe God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate and individual beings united in purpose. 
  11. I believe polygamy should be legal - as well as any other type of polyamory. 
  12. I believe I was gay in the pre-existence.
  13. I believe I was born gay.
  14. I believe I will be gay in the next life. 
  15. I believe "being gay" is part of my soul. 
  16. I believe a woman has the right to choose whether to carry her baby to full term or abort it. 
  17. I believe in the powerful potential of stem cells and in fully funding stem cell research. 
  18. I believe gender and sexuality are not solidified and constant. 
  19. I believe God is the perfect scientist. 
  20. I believe women can lead religious congregations. 
  21. I believe.

Wooooo....I'm so liiiiiiiberrrrrrrallllllll!

Go ahead, un-follow me, defriend me, un... + me?  Or just comment - that's more fun for both of us anyway.

Mono Lessons (Part X: 187-208)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

187. I have more self-control than I give myself credit for having.

188. I gained my “self-control” from having some pretty crappy experiences.

189. There’s a fine line between “self-control” and extreme hesitation and caution.

190. “I don’t wanna be your other half; I believe that one and one make two.” (from “Not the Doctor” by Alanis Morissette)

191. “[I won’t] let [him] get away with kicking [his] own ass.” (from “Unsent” by Alanis Morissette)

192. I’m not crazy…well, in the sense that I’m not imagining my heart arrhythmia nor am I mistaking another chest activity for the heart arrhythmia. In other words, I have a seasonal heart arrhythmia.

193. Sherri worded this perfectly for me:  “Never argue with an idiot.  All they do is drag you down to their level then beat you with their experience.”

194. Atenolol is a beta-blocker.  I still don’t really understand what a beta-blocker is.  Let alone beta…and why it would need to be blocked.

195. Aliens scare the crap out of me enough when they’re blatantly fake that I am able to put on quite the convincing show when they are presented with a hint of realness.

196. I am apparently rather passionate about aliens.

197. I really do miss some certain people from middle and high school.

198. I don’t fall easily, quickly, willingly, simply, smoothly, comfortably, or patiently.  Good luck, my friend.

199. I enjoy being a psychology test subject probably more than I should…

200. Denny’s has a TOTALLY different menu before 10pm!  It’s huge!

201. Propositions from straight guys are tempting, but not when the straight guy is creepy.

202. Blog formatting takes way too much effort sometimes.

203. Seriously, zombies are funny.

204. No one else is online at 3:30 AM.  Why did I not learn this sooner?  Like in the 40’s or 50’s sections of the mono lessons?

205. Nothing beats IMAX 3D.

206. One-paragraph summaries of an all-over-the-place lecture are rather difficult.

207. Follow my gut…  I already know this, I just need to remind myself.

208. It’s really weird to be taking The Psychology of Love when starting a new relationship…

Mono Lessons (Part IX: 166-186)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

166. The maximum amount of actually funny gay jokes has been reached.

167. Zombies are to Lindsey as Aliens are to me.

168. Allie can fit the rim of a midget Denny’s water glass in her mouth. Video proof has been captured.

169. Gay PDA in Utah is a personal safety risk.

170. An unusually large number of people are mistakenly told they have an enlarged heart.

171. Haiku is much better when in Zombie form.

172. It’s so much easier to date other Mormons.

173. Some people say to “live every week like it’s ‘Shark Week.’” I prefer to “live every week like it’s ‘Armageddon Week.”

174. I miss photography.

175. “I’ve learned how to cry and I’m better for that.” (from “Many the Miles” by Sara Bareilles)

176. Certain people are truly in the wrong line of work.

177. UTemps is my baby.

178. Hope.

179. The best medicine is laughing until it hurts. Then laughing until the hurt hurts. Then laughing until you are on the brink of crying because of the pain. Haha.

180. Arvilla is a name. A woman’s name. And she’s the best Denny’s server ever.

181. Grief and mourning is necessary for my survival, sanity, and peace of mind.

182. I have immense anger and resentment towards him for what has happened.

183. Freedom can be bittersweet.

184. Caffeine does a number on my entire body.

185. One Diet Coke can induce:

a. Heart arrhythmia

b. Hyperactivity

c. Attention deficit

d. Freezing cold hands – blood vessel constriction

e. Jitteriness

f. Racing thoughts

g. Increased heart rate

h. Anxiety associated with the heart arrhythmia

186. Never have caffeine again.