Today I Asked Why

I wrote this story as a paper for my History of Photography class (ARTH 3600) in September 2010.

Writing dialogue is something I am not accustomed to.  There were voices in my head...each with distinct personalities.  The photographers in the conversation you are about to read are Timothy O'SullivanH.P. Robinson, and Julia Margaret Cameron.


Today I Asked Why

“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” I loudly mutter as I run through the door to my café. I like to call it “my” café because the actual owner let me decorate the south wall with whatever I wanted. I don’t know…it makes it feel like mine. I chose nothing fancy, nothing too extravagant. This large wall has one single photograph. I dare say this photograph is the best portrait ever taken. But that’s just my humble opinion. The image enshrined on the south wall is none other than Richard Avedon’s Marilyn Monroe.

Beautiful, isn’t it? Isn’t she? The rawness in her posture and facial expression is rare enough to view in person, let alone capture in a photograph… Anyway, as I mentioned, I was late for work. As I ran inside, the opaque cloudy sky released itself and, in a heartbeat, it was pouring. As I stood in the doorway, I could already sense my boss wasn’t even upset I was late. Why? Because he knows what a downpour means: customers! A café is prime refuge from a deluge. I unexpectedly get nudged from behind. I turn around to see a dozen people under the awning wishing to get inside. I step out of the way as the customers quickly trickle inside. 

Being the lowly busboy, I rush around the café gathering empty glasses, mugs, plates, and bowls, clearing room for our new wet customers. Once everyone was settled and we began to get a handle on things, I glanced to the south wall and smiled at Marilyn. Sitting at the table immediately across from her was an unusual trio of regular customers. I didn’t notice them come in with the thunderstorm rush…were they here before I arrived? Front row seat or not, they always watch Marilyn from wherever they lounge. Today I asked why. 

“Why? Why?!?” the woman jokingly jeers back at me. “Because it’s so beautiful, so soft, so…haunting! It’s simply stunning!” 

“I honestly don’t understand why you two like this picture so much,” the older gentleman interjects. “It’s just another plain picture of Marilyn Monroe. There are thousands of them and this one is no different. It’s not even artistic!” At this, the woman flushes an impatient shade of red but continues to sit and listen. The man continues, “Avedon just snapped this picture and did nothing to it – not one dodge, not a single trick, and not a thought of conjuration. A child could do that!” 

The younger man lightheartedly steps in, “What is a ‘conjuration’ anyway?” The three of them laugh as the younger man looks back at me and says, “I’m Timothy, by the way.” He points to the other two and introduces them as Julia and H.P. I introduce myself as I grab a chair to sit with them. “Don’t let me interrupt,” I say. “This was just getting exciting!” 

Julia draws us back into the conversation by asking H.P., “What would need to be different for you to accept this as a piece of art?” 

“Oh, so many things!” he replies. “First, the picture should have been taken with her looking more cheerful and less awkward. Photography should elevate the subject and avoid such awkward forms.” 

“But,” interjects Timothy, “that’s why I find this portrait to be so striking! Her ‘awkwardness’ makes this portrait different from her others. I haven’t taken many portraits myself, but I know a good one when I see one. Unfortunately, I instead know war.  And I know how to capture it in a way to convey its horror and lack of glamour. My goal was never to romanticize such atrocities. I wanted to show the world the death and dread it produces. Avedon took a picture of a devastated battlefield here! Marilyn looks like a mess compared to the thousands of glamorous shots we typically see of her. Marilyn Monroe was a bombshell in so many ways and Avedon captured her post-detonation.” 

Timothy’s passion causes the rest of us to sit in silent awe for a moment. Julia then slowly and softly breaks the silence saying, “As I’ve been listening,” her tone becoming more delighted, “I noticed how perfectly the sharpness of her face is balanced with the softness of everything else. You two would probably call the soft glow ‘out of focus.’ But what is focus – and who has a right to say what focus is the legitimate focus?” 

H.P. jumps at this comment and says, “The blurriness of her torso would make it impossible to even use in a combination print. Much more planning and thought would have to be put into this portrait to make it useful in my art photography.” 

“Planning and thought?” Timothy questions. “Words spoken by a man who photographs solely in his studio! When you’re out in the field documenting war or landscape, you record precisely what you see through the ground glass and do absolutely nothing to alter it.” 

“I don’t alter the photographs, Timothy,” H.P. calmly rebuts, “I combine them. I am following the encouragement to ‘not merely amuse, but to instruct, purify, and ennoble’ with my art photography. I will admit, with the world now knowing Marilyn’s rather tragic story, this image could certainly be used in an allegory to educate the public. I just believe, for a portrait to be considered art, the ‘artist’ needs to have more involvement than simply pressing a button.” 

“Allegories can be done without combination printing, you know,” says Julia. “You’ve seen my allegories. Yes, I did pose them, but I posed everything at once for a single photograph as to avoid combination printing. I find the printing process for a single photograph to be laborious enough... Printing from multiple negatives simultaneously would drive me bonkers! H.P., you said this portrait could possibly be used in an allegory. In my opinion, this portrait of Marilyn is an allegory on its own, combining my two favorite styles of art photography – portrait and allegory. However, Avedon didn’t pose her. It was completely unplanned. This singular moment could never be planned out in a studio for a combination print.” 

“Exactly,” confirms Timothy. “Avedon’s Marilyn Monroe combines the real and the ideal, sacrificing nothing of Truth. So let us take it for what it is rather than trying to reinvent it. I really have to agree with Julia here…” 

“I wouldn’t have expected any different, Timothy,” says H.P. with a smirk on his face. After a short pause, H.P. looks me in the eye and asks, “So, what do you think?” 

“Me?” I hesitantly reply. “Well…um…I’m a little biased toward this photograph…” 

Timothy laughs saying, “You think you’re biased? You’ve been listening to the conversation, haven’t you?” 


Many ideas and quotations were borrowed from Beaumont Newhall’s The History of Photography, pages 73-78. Though they are not explicitly cited, most of the quotes and ideas are recognizable from class discussion alone. 

"Time Is All Around" by Regina Spektor

This is one of my favorite Regina Spektor songs.  The remarkable visuals in the chorus are by far my favorite part.  Lyrics provided below.

"Time Is All Around" - Regina Spektor

You step on all my parts
And then you walk right out the door
And I know that your love ain't never
Coming back no more

Time is all around
Except inside my clock
Everybody's waiting for their lover to unlock

Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up

Time is all around
Time is all around

I hallucinate a cat between my feet
I'm stepping lightly so as not to hurt it
Everybody wants
To say that you have changed
Of course you've changed, you've changed, you've changed
Your mind's been rearrange

But leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up

Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up

Why am I supposed to love if I don't want to love?
Why am I supposed to, I'm so tired
Why am I supposed to love if I don't want to?
I don't want
I don't want to
I don't want

Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up

Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up

"Three Cheers for Five Years [Acoustic]" by Mayday Parade

I call this my first punk song...even thought it's the acoustic version of a punk song making it not really punk...and even though Mayday Parade's punkness is sometimes debatable.  Anyway, that said, "Three Cheers for Five Years" is on Punk Goes Acoustic 2, and, not being a punk fan before this, I consider it punk.  :-)

I think this song is simply breathtaking with its incredible harmonies.  I hope you've got some spare time on your hands because it's rather lengthy, but it's worth it.  If you're interested in listening to the original version, here is a LINK.  In the meantime, here is the acoustic version with lyrics provided below.

"Three Cheers for Five Years" - Mayday Parade

I swear that you don't have to go, I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms and spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely 

'Cause it's another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, 

In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening 

Moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across your key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us, not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I give my heart as an offering (as an offering)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely
It's just another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, 

In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same...

And I... Will always... Remember you as you are right now to me
And I... Will always... Remember you now, remember you now...
Oh...

So sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight

And how does he feel? And how does he kiss?
And how does he taste while he's on your lips?

How does he feel?  How does he kiss?

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)

And I can't forget you
I know that you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you

So when this is over, don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight) 
I know you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you, I want to.

"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor

This is my favorite music video ever! Regina is the best!  This is also, by far, the best song about prostitution.

"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor

You-ou-ou-ou-ou a-a-a-a-a-are
So-o-o-o-o sw-ee-ee-ee-ee-eet
Da-a-a-a-an-ci-i-i-ing to that
Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eat

There's a meat market down the street
The boys and the girls watch each other eat

You are so sweet, so sweet
Dancing and moving to that beat, that beat

There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
The boys and the girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep

You are so sweet.
(Once more)
You are so sweet
(Solo)

[Regina's Piano Solo]

I went walking through this city
Like a drunk, but not
With my slip showing a little
Like a drunk, but not
And I am one of your people
But the cars don't stop
And I am one of your people
But the cars don't stop

It's been a long time since before I've been touched
Now I'm getting touched all the time
And it's only a matter of whom
And it's only a matter of when

An addiction to hands and feet
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other sleep
An addiction to hands and feet
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep

"My Humps" by Alanis Morissette (Black Eyed Peas Cover)

Hilarious.  Yes, I know I'm a dork for loving this.  You are too.  (I apologize if you see a commercial at the beginning of this.  Finding a good quality video of this hilariousness was far too difficult.)

Here's the Black Eyed Peas original version:

It's really a tossup as to which one is better, huh?

"So Unsexy [Vancouver Sessions 2004]" by Alanis Morissette

We spend, or should I say, waste so much time letting other people get us down.  We spend so much time trying to please everyone else.  We spend so much time trying to impress the world.  We spend so much time over-analyzing innocent comments into deflating insults that make us feel So Unsexy, so unloved, so boring, and so ignorant.  When will we start staying with ourselves instead?

Here is Alanis Morissette's "So Unsexy."  The first version here is acoustic and was recorded as part of a Sessions gig Alanis did in Vancouver in 2004.  I actually heard this acoustic version before I heard the original and fell in love with it.

Below the acoustic version is a performance of the original version which you will see has much more of a rock feel to it than the more tame, yet (in my opinion) more powerful acoustic rendition.  As always, lyrics provided below.

Hope you like it.  :-)

Acoustic:

Performance of Original (because a performance is more entertaining than a still pictures):

"So Unsexy" - Alanis Morissette

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly

One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

"Any Day Now" by Missy Higgins

Here, Missy performs one of my very favorite songs of hers called "Any Day Now" at the Aquashell in Darling Harbour, Sydney, Australia.  Lyrics provided below.

"Any Day Now" - Missy Higgins

How long, how long, how long will we take to come undone?
If you know the answer tell me now and I'll write up a calendar for our count down.
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got?

Say you've kept some fire aside to set light to me some surprising night. 
And say you've locked some fire away to set light to me some surprising day. 
Any day now...

How come, how come, how come I'm now on a road holding out my thumb? 
If you know my destination please buy me the fastest car and throw me the keys. 
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got?

Say you've kept some fire aside to set light to me some surprising night. 
And say you've locked some fire away to set light to me some surprising day. 

'Cos finger by finger we're losing grasp and
I'm questioning the reasons why nothing beautiful does last...

Say you've kept some fire aside to set light to me some surprising night. 
And say you've locked some fire away to set light to me some surprising day, 
To me some surprising day...

Any day now...