MONO Lessons (Part XXII: 440-463)

November 9, 2014 Jason Hoggan

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

440. Spring finals are the absolute worst.

441. I don’t understand the whole superhero comic book thing. Especially Thor. Thor is a Nordic god…not a comic book character…

442. Chris Evans must be an actual superhero since he has played The Human Torch and will be playing Captain America…the hero with the lamest name ever.

443. The Avengers are: The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man (whatever that is), Thor, and Captain America.

444. Need to Know on PBS is simply outstanding journalism. I highly recommend it. Oh, and donate! ;-)

445. Allegra is a non-drowsy lifesaver. Now also available in generic form from your local grocery store knock-off brand! Yay!

446. Some things never change.

447. Facebook ads…holy crap.

448. Apparently, people have pornographic slides. Yes, I said slides.

449. Divorce isn’t a bad thing. It just gets a bad rap.

450. I can easily use a video game analogy to explain my ideas correlating physics, spirituality, and a “higher power.”

451. RENT four times can be rather emotional; especially during a highly emotional time in your personal life.

452. Lesson #157 stated “I’m not ‘RENT’ gay.” Correction, I am “RENT” gay.

453. Jagged Little Pill would make a great musical.

454. The Matrix is why I freed my mind.

455. Kaboom. That is all.

456. I prefer having the world end at the end of apocalyptic-like movies. Especially if aliens are involved.

457. Abercrombie & Fitch models feel nice.

458. I refuse to watch Criminal Minds because I can’t take Greg, yes, from Dharma & Greg, seriously. And he’s missing Dharma…

459. Sexuality, gender, and sex are all amazing things and deserve more conversational attention. Taboo is destroyed by conversation.

460. Depression and anxiety are rampant.

461. Depression and anxiety are rampant among gays.

462. Judy McLane is a sweetheart.

463. Being a gay teenager still sucks, unfortunately. But at least it’s slightly less dangerous…

MONO Lessons (Part XXI: 420 - 439)

October 25, 2012 Jason Hoggan

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

420. I don’t know what to do with my last name if/when I get married. But I do know “Hoggan” won’t be leaving. It’s far too awesome.

421. I want an equation, variable, or unit named after me. “Then we take the Hoggan Cross Section…” “Find the Hoggan wavelength of…” “So after the algebra, we are left with 7 Hoggans…” Yes.

422. Opera is not my thing.

423. “Little Women” is just a boring story. Jo, grow up.

424. I should probably become a model. It may be my true calling in life.

425. Depressed and anxious people shouldn’t have to split their depression and anxiety pills. We need more size variety!

426. Seeing a car flip over in front of you due to another car running a red light causes intersection anxiety.

427. I’m in love. He drives me insane, but I love him. I’m in love.

428. I can go months without talking to someone and still know when they’re pulling an April Fools joke.

429. Gay marriage would be legal if it weren’t illegal. Think about it. That thought isn’t as stupid as it sounds.

430. Fortune cookies are disgusting.

431. Domes of fudge are splendid.

432. Hemorrhoids suck.

433. Sucker Punch…possibly too awesome?

434. Buckwheat is nasty. Even in maple-glazed cold cereal form.

435. I will never need to purchase an obnoxiously large, loud, and window-tinted truck to make up for any lack of “manhood,” thank you.

436. I don’t drink enough water.

437. I’m a meat-eating vegan. A carnivorous vegan, if you will. …Aaaaaand you will.

438. When I get an intense blog idea, move out of the way.

439. I like butt chins.

10 Down, 1 To Go - Thank You!

January 28, 2012 Jason Hoggan

I'm graduating from college in May. On May 4, 2012, to be exact, but who's really keeping track? Then I'm leaving my job and running away to Europe for a month. Sounds amazing and you're extremely jealous of me, right???

Anyway...

First, I want to take a moment to reflect on the past 5 years of my college life and publicly acknowledge some family, friends, and coworkers who have continually supported me and helped me survive.

Mom and Dad: What troopers. From my giddy freshman excitement, to my mono year and kidney stone, to the impending senioritis, thank you for always being there to hear me rant, rave, complain, scream, cry, bitch, and cry some more at all hours of the day or night. Thank you for letting...no...encouraging me to be me. Thank you for listening to me nerd out like I do. Thank you for being interested in me, my school, my work, my coworkers, and my friends.

Stacie and Anita: I couldn't have asked for more amazing coworkers. I still feel so lucky and blessed that I had the opportunity to work with both of you. Not many people get the chance to do what we did. And at my young age, I am so thankful I was able to do it with you. Thank you for being great coworkers, mentors, and most of all, my friends. I love you both dearly!

Katie: Thank you for putting up with my and Ryan's Canada jokes. Thank you for choosing me (you know what I'm talking about...haha). Thank you for helping to keep us in contact and organizing lunches and dinners. Thank you for always being there to talk to and for never judging me. You are one of the sweetest people I know and I absolutely love you!

Ryan: Thank you for making nerdiness so sexy. Thank you for your eye contact. Thank you for being an amazing study buddy. Thank you for all of the intellectual conversations about gender, sexuality, religion, and everything else both physics-y and non-physics-y. I miss you!

Jessica: You are absolutely the best lab partner anyone could ask for! Thank you for always being on the same crazy wavelength as me, even though it's not actually you're choice and in reality you're just as crazy as me. Thank you for taking Lisa's class with me - that was an amazing experience to share with you. Thank you for being so freaking funny. I love you!

Allie and Lindsey: Thank you for putting up with mono me. Thank you for the Denny's nights. Thank you for the laughing attacks. Thank you for Disneyland. Thank you for the cabin, which was exactly like Disneyland, only completely different. Thank you for being amazing friends! Oh, and Lindsey...EUROPE!

Diane: Thank you for taking a "risk" and hiring a physics major. Thank you for your infinite flexibility around my health and school. I would never have guessed I'd work in a theatre...but I have absolutely loved it!

Now that I got the sappy part out of the way, let's talk about what I've accomplished here and why I deserve this degree. (It's tough to tell if I'm doing this to help ward off senioritis and keep me motivated or if I'm just trying to impress all of you.) I'm a super nerd, so I've obviously kept track of every class I've taken over the past 5 years. And here they are with my (sometimes witty) comments!!!

Freshman Year `07 -`08

Allie, me, and Barbara "Poochigian-ing It Up"

Classical Civilizations 1550: Classical Mythology

Poochigian. Enough said.

Educational Psychology 2600: Strategies for College Success

Taking AP classes in high school made this class borderline useless...

Mathematics 2210: Calculus III

It's like calculus I and II, only in THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!

Writing 2010: Intermediate Writing

Katy Savage, how I love you. You and I clicked when it came to humor. Thank you for encouraging me to write!

Art 2060: Non-Major Digital Photography

I, mister science, got an A- in an art class. Hell yes! I'll take it. Digital Photography: Art for Scientists. I also must give this class credit for introducing me to Richard Avedon and his portrait of Marilyn Monroe. You may have heard I enjoy this photograph.

Mathematics 2270: Linear Algebra

Horrible class. Horrible teacher. Katie flirted for her grade. Admit it.

Physics 1980: Undergraduate Seminar II

They made me take it...

Physics 2215: Physics Lab I for Scientists and Engineers

Per...rwrwrwwrrw...iod. That means "period" in Asian.

Physics 3210: Physics for Scientists I

Ugh...I don't wanna talk about it.

Summer `08

Mathematics 2280: Introduction to Differential Equations

Gray is usually a bad choice...especially if you're overweight and it's the middle of summer in Utah...if you catch my drift.

Sophomore Year `08 -`09

Mathematics 3210: Foundations of Analysis I

Even though we only spent one day in the Naval Sciences building with no AC, I now know how Italian students feel when they're in class sweating like an Italian fountain and have an Italian man saying math at them.

Physics 1970: Undergraduate Seminar I

You guessed it, they made me take this too...

Physics 2225: Physics Lab II for Scientists and Engineers

Ming Dynasty. At least I think it was Ming...

Physics 3220: Physics for Scientists II

I don't wanna talk about this either.

Political Science 1100: United States National Government

My county is blue...I felt that needed to be brought to attention. — My county is blue...
I felt that needed to be brought to attention.

The only reason this class was somewhat interesting is because I took it in Fall 2008: aka, election season.

Mathematics 3220: Foundations of Analysis II

Every review I had read about my professor, Dr. Taylor, (also the author of our "book") was horribly negative. I was terrified of him before I'd even met him. Turns out he was one of the most fair professors I had my entire college career.

Physics 3740: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics and Relativity

Quite possibly the biggest asshole of a professor I had my entire college career.

Physics 3760: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics

I HATE thermodynamics. I also HATE statistical mechanics. At least the professor was nice even though he was sometimes difficult to understand.

Psychology 1010: General Psychology

This was quite the psych overview...thank goodness Kelly was in it with me.

Junior Year `09 -`10

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling

It's amazing how flinging a ball down an oily lane thereby making pins fly and make loud noises is a spectacular stress reliever...even when you're not very good. Thanks for putting up with me, Alec.

Gender Studies 5770: Gender and Sexual Orientation

Dr. Lisa Diamond changed my life. I could never thank you enough for all "ah-ha!" moments, self discovery, and self acceptance you inspired in me. YOU literally changed my life; I don't care how cliché I sound!

Mathematics 3150: Partial Differential Equations for Engineers

My professor was a godsend. At the time, I felt like I was dying from mono, so I made a deal with him that I would no longer be doing the homework, but prove to him I knew the material through exams. In short, I got the high on the final. Thank you, Prof. Allison.

Physics 1330: Physics of Audio and Video

Yes, 1330. I took this for the hell of it and I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you.

Physics 3610: Electronics I

I now cringe when I see electronics schematics. I should mention, I ACED the final in this class.

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling

Yep, I took it twice. Wanna make somethin' of it?!

Mathematics 3160: Applied Complex Variables

Oddly enough, I think this may have been my favorite math class. It was also my LAST math class... There may or may not be a correlation.

Two of my favorite mathematical cartoon characters

Physics 4910: Technical Communication and Scientific Judgement

This class was so good and so tough. I learned to get comfortable presenting to an audience, that group work is a bitch, and some people say "like" WAY too many times when they're publicly speaking.

Psychology 2800: Psychology of Love

Relationships are so damn complicated!!! Also, it's very strange to be taking this class when beginning a new, albeit poor and pretty damn hopeless, relationship.

Psychology 3000: Statistical Methods in Psychology

Part of me is still angry I had to take this class for a psychology MINOR composed of classes which didn't even require the class as a prerequisite. This would be the definition of a weed-out class. I recommend taking it online if you have some self motivation.

Senior Year I `10 -`11

Art History 3600: The History of Photography

I LOVED this class. I found even more photographs to love almost as much as Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe. I wrote about them a while back. I even posted a paper I wrote for this class - Today I Asked Why.

Nutrition 1020: Scientific Foundations of Nutrition and Health

This class left me thoroughly disappointed in our country.

Physics 3410: Modern Optics I & II

This class had one of the most time consuming labs ever...if you don't count the undergrad lab class.

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics

I withdrew from this class. My life changed this semester...fucking kidney stone.

Physics 3730: Introduction to Computing in Physics

I never want to be a computer programmer.

Physics 5110: Introduction to Particle Physics

This professor takes the prize for the most difficult to understand. Probably not an award of which one should be proud.

Senior Year II `11 -`12

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics

Yeah...this again. Good thing I saved most of the material from last time.

Physics 3719: Undergraduate Laboratory

Thank HEAVEN for Jessica. Oh, and thank you Whitney for explaining "the tone."

Physics 5020: Theoretical Electricity and Magnetism and Statistical Mechanics

This is bound to be pretty awful. (It was.)

Psychology 3440: Personality Theory

This is bound to be pretty amazing. (It was.)

So in the end, I deserve it, right? Right.
I'm almost an official physicist!!! Do you know what this means? YOU will know a physicist. Yep, you!

Thank you all!
Love,
Jason

MONO Lessons (Part XVIII: 366 - 382)

May 12, 2011 Jason Hoggan

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

366. The more I think about it, the more I want nothing to do with anything Mormon.

367. I need somebody to type my autobiography while I just blab away about my bizarre and somewhat heartbreaking past.

368. I don’t believe in “love at first sight.” However, I’m a strong believer in “like at first sight” and an even stronger believer in “lust at first sight.”

369. I have some unresolved issues with him.

370. She can hold out for a whole month!

371. I’m acting like a teenager and I’m fine with it.

372. Daiquiri Ice is DAIRY FREE!

373. Physics is more phun when I can phocus on it.

374. If I need a new kidney, YOU are waking up in an ice bath. Just sayin’…

375. I'm pretty rational about flying off the handle. – AEW

376. When I’m annoyed, I can’t hide it.

377. Don’t have the ice cream. Just don’t.

378. The best part about having a boyfriend is he goes to every freaking concert with me. ☺

379. When finally confronted with a question you’ve been waiting to be asked for years, it can catch you so off guard that you freeze up and avoid answering it the way you’ve rehearsed a million times in your head.

380. 1982 Tron = AWFUL! Seriously. Did Disney really release that to the general public?

381. I have never found a human being more repugnant, cowardly, and disgraceful than those two and I haven’t even met them.

382. Somebody dislikes Halloween more than I. And that’s saying something.

Ignorant Remarks, Insensitive Timing - Their Injurious Consequences and the Impending Paradigm Shift

October 9, 2010 Jason Hoggan

1.

"We must understand that any persuasion to enter into any relationship that is not in harmony with the principles of the gospel must be wrong."

A monogamous same-sex relationship in no way deviates from the principles of the gospel. However, it is interpreted that since both members of the duo are of the same sex, this relationship is "unnatural." "Unnatural" is a synonym for "wrong" in the LDS Church. I believe life is too complicated to be described by plug outlets and pipe joints. Of course a male joint won't attach to another male joint. But you know what? I'm not a plug. I'm a human being. I believe my biology, psychology, physiology, and spirituality are a bit more intricate than a plug's. My point is, it's not black and white. No matter how many times I say that, the people who think it is black and white are too insane (I mean that quite literally) to even consider other thinking. You only become sane when you realize your own and the world's insanity - and change.

Who are you to define what is "natural" and what is not? Lack of understanding about something doesn't make it "unnatural." Take gravity, for instance. I'm in physics and I know physicists know NOTHING about gravity. It's the weirdest force. It hasn't yet been "combined" with all of the other forces. That's the purpose of the various grand unified theories out there (like String Theory). Being the physics nerd I am, then, I have to pick at Elder Packer's quote about voting to change the law of gravity.

MONO Lessons (Part XII: 229-245)

July 21, 2010 Jason Hoggan

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

229. I am allergic/intolerant/sensitive to:

a. Bean, Green (+1)

b. Bean, Kidney (+2)

c. Bean, Navy (+1)

d. Bean, Pinto (+1)

e. Bean, Yellow Wax (+1)

f. Beans, apparently…however, not Lima, unfortunately

g. Cheese (+2)

h. Egg (+2)

i. Egg-white (+2)

ii. Egg-yolk (+2)

i. Milk, Cow’s (+1)

i. Casein (+3)

ii. Whey – LF (+1)

iii. In other words, everything dairy.

j. Pineapple (+1)

k. Pumpkin (+1)

l. Rye (+1)

m. Tomato (+1)

n. Wheat (+3)

i. Gluten (52 units)

o. Yeast, Baker’s (+1)

p. Yeast, Brewer’s (+2)

q. Zucchini (+1)

230. The Mexican food I thought was saving my life because it’s the only thing I could get down…yeah…slowly killing me: Pinto Beans, Cheese, Sour Cream, Tortilla, Tomato Salsa… My mono nausea cure only made me sicker.

231. A simple, sincere “I’m sorry” can go a LONG way…

232. Restaurants have gluten-free menus!

233. Gluten is in everything.

234. A “positive” gluten sensitivity test is like a positive pregnancy test – you can’t be kind of pregnant and you can’t be kind of sensitive. You are.

235. I’m bitter about gluten.

236. Lesson #228 is no longer valid. I actually think I would feel worse having a Grand Slam than if I got drunk…ha.

237. I really don’t have very good gaydar. I need to accept this fact of life.

238. I still get shocked every time someone comes out to me. Haha.

239. MLIA is hilarious. TFLN is rather hilarious, but the sex and drugs can get old rather quickly. FML is just depressing.

240. “Appetite is the best seasoning.” – Jessica Johnston

241. “The moral of the story is: Don’t drink, or your clone will be murdered.” – Jessica Johnston

242. “Life takes a lifetime.” (from “Naturally” by Lisa Donnelly)

243. We don’t do physics. Physics does us.

244. IgG anti-gliadin antibodies have a half-life of 120 days.

245. With an IgG score of 52 units, after 4 months of gluten-freeness, I will be near 26 units; 8 months I will be near 13 units; and 12 months, I will be near 7 units (below 10 is normal, 3 is average). Hence, 1 year of recovery ahead. It could be worse.

What to do...what to do?

June 17, 2010 Jason Hoggan

I have desires burning deep inside my soul.
They burn so hot and so real...
     My flesh tingles and flushes,
     My eyes swell and drip,
     My vocal cords seize and scream.

Physics, psychology, math, poly sci, astronomy, photography...
Have I chosen the right thing?
     I want to make a difference.
     I want to speak out.
     I want to speak up.
But I'm terrified to do more than I already am.
What to do...what to do?

Do I want to be an "activist?"
What is an activist?
Am I already one?
     Can a physics major be a gay activist?
     A gay Mormon activist?
     A gay Mormon physics major activist?
Is that allowed?

Is it dangerous?
Is it treacherous to pursue?
Which side is more threatening anyway?
Of whom should I be more wary?
     Both?
     Neither?
     Have I already ruffled everyone's feathers?

Fence-sitting sounds so simple...
But it's not that easy.
     I still have fears.
     I still hesitate before saying I'm gay.
     I even hesitate before saying I'm Mormon.

I have friends who don't understand,
But who let me do my own thing;
No questions asked.
Why don't they ask questions?
With which part do they not agree?
It's exhausting to continually tailor my words
According to my company...

Do you know me?
Do you really know me?
Who do you think I am?
     Honestly.
I'm sorry, but,
     "You don’t know me,
    You don’t know me at all.
You don’t know me,
      You don’t know me AT ALL."

I feel stuck.
Out of place.
Always wanting more gay friends...
     More straight friends...
     More Mormon friends...
     More gay Mormon friends...
                                          Who feel and think the way I do,
                                               Truly,
                                          Not because it's the "right answer"
                                               Or they can't make up their mind...
                        Who doesn't "really just want to watch each other sleep...
                        ...Sleep sleep sleep."
     More friends to occupy and distract my thoughts
From wandering and wondering what I wonder...
What to do...what to do?

I want to be in love.
I want to be head-over-heels.
I want to be wooed.
I want to want to woo.
I want a hand to hold.
I want to care and not care.

When will I meet him?
Have I already met him?
Will I find him at school?
Work?
Through a friend?

Would acting on my activism help me find my partner in crime?

                    I want to have the courage...
                    I want to have the strength...
                    I want to have the drive...
                    I want to have the reason...
                    I want to have the security...
                    I want to have the voice...
                    I want to have the sense...
                    I want to have the stamina...
                    I want to have the energy...
                    I want to have the support...
                    I want to have the enthusiasm...
                    I want to have the confidence...

                                                           end the hate.
                                                            end the ignorance.
                                                                 end the abuse.
                                                                                   end the disgust.
                                                                           end the self-loathing.
                                                                                         end the lies.
                                                        end the suicides.
                                                        end the helplessness.
                                                   end the hopelessness.
                                                          end the excuses.
                                                                                     end the doubt.
                                                                                     end the fear.

What to do...what to do?
Fearlessly be myself.