MONO Lessons (Part XIV: 271- 299)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

271. I think someone has ADD…

272. Almond Breeze is my favorite milk replacement.  Mmmm

273. They make butters other than peanut butter.

274. Oats are a major topic of conversation.  Especially among Celiacs.

275. Immune systems are actually supposed to stop a cold from taking over your body.  Mine did that for the first time in years!  Hooray!

276. The Stanford Prison Experiment.  Ryan and I rocked this thing.

277. Gluten antibodies attack and chop down the villi in my small intestines.  Lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, is created in the tip of the villi.  Hence, I will seem “lactose intolerant” until my villi grow back.

278. “Wheat-free” does NOT infer “gluten-free.”

279. Blogging is like a disease.  A rather contagious disease.

280. I’m a gatekeeper.

281. I live my life as an oxymoron.  I love oxymorons and paradoxes.

282. Mayonnaise is evil.  Of the devil, if you will.

283. I am eternally grateful for my past.  Without it, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

284. I am infinitely relieved to have made it through the reconciliation brawl physically alive, psychologically intact, mentally resilient, and spiritually affirmed.

285. “He’s not cute enough to be gay!” – SH.  I then burst out laughing.

286. Late at night, even regular humans can suddenly become cute, cuddly zombies.

287. I attached to UTemps like it was a person…

288. These tremendously complex bodies are bound to have a few minor errors.

289. Slumdog Millionaire is simply unbelievable and moves me in a way no movie ever has.

290. Really.  It’s not me!  It’s everybody else…. Trust me.

291. It’s not fair.  And that will continue to resonate in my mind.  It’s simply not fair.

292. Outback is a GF Mecca.  P.F. Chang's can be Mecca #2.

293. I think about them every single day…

294. “When in doubt, leave it out.” – Danna Korn from Living Gluten-Free for Dummies

295. Gluten could be the answer behind everything.

296. Some servers can really surprise me with their gluten-free skill and memory.  Really, though, he should have written it all down…I’m complicated.

297. I will meet my soul mate at Whole Foods.  I’m convinced.  See “Aaron the Whole Foods Boy."

298. Windows 7 doesn’t like power outages.

299. That said, F6 is the secret, magical, earth-saving button.

MONO Lessons (Part XI: 209-228)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

209. It’s January 27, 2010, and to be honest, I don’t really think I have mono any more. However, things aren’t back to normal. My appetite is odd, my sleep cycle is odd…I just feel odd. I think I have food allergies that are prolonging everything.

210. Whether I still have mono or not, I keep learning things, so I think I should continue my mono lessons list – both for personal reasons and for the sake of blog entertainment.  In case I don’t actually have mononucleosis (symptoms) any more, MONO Lessons will stand for Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational Lessons.  That’s what these silly lessons really are, anyway. ☺

211. I’m grateful I took Foundations of Analysis…?!?  What?!?

212. Valentine’s Day comes to mind much sooner when it appears you’ll actually have a valentine.

213. 55” of TV is a LOT of TV.

214. There are few things that will keep me up until 4am.  Tennis is one of them.

215. I get extremely offended when my petition is denied.

216. Attraction is SO complicated!  And it dictates our thoughts and feelings about absolutely everyone!

217. I actually can get my blood drawn with out totally freaking out.

218. Just being in the University Hospital makes me extremely happy.

219. Hospital cafeteria food is better than Union food.  And cheaper.  And more healthy.

220. The Green shuttle doesn’t stop at the Union, only Red and Blue do.

221. Atenolol makes being nervous so much more bearable.

222. School is “easier” when unemployed.

223. Alec Woodbury and Allie Wall have the same initials!!!

224. Leaping zombies are the best.

225. There are certain people with whom I should not be alone for an extended period of time. Specifically while school is going.

226. We’re literally writing the next page of our life novel right now; “the rest is still unwritten.”

227. Slaps in the face are rather enlightening for both parties – the slappee and the slapper.

228. I would SO much rather get a free Grand Slam at Denny’s on my 21st birthday than get drunk.

Mono Lessons (Part X: 187-208)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

187. I have more self-control than I give myself credit for having.

188. I gained my “self-control” from having some pretty crappy experiences.

189. There’s a fine line between “self-control” and extreme hesitation and caution.

190. “I don’t wanna be your other half; I believe that one and one make two.” (from “Not the Doctor” by Alanis Morissette)

191. “[I won’t] let [him] get away with kicking [his] own ass.” (from “Unsent” by Alanis Morissette)

192. I’m not crazy…well, in the sense that I’m not imagining my heart arrhythmia nor am I mistaking another chest activity for the heart arrhythmia. In other words, I have a seasonal heart arrhythmia.

193. Sherri worded this perfectly for me:  “Never argue with an idiot.  All they do is drag you down to their level then beat you with their experience.”

194. Atenolol is a beta-blocker.  I still don’t really understand what a beta-blocker is.  Let alone beta…and why it would need to be blocked.

195. Aliens scare the crap out of me enough when they’re blatantly fake that I am able to put on quite the convincing show when they are presented with a hint of realness.

196. I am apparently rather passionate about aliens.

197. I really do miss some certain people from middle and high school.

198. I don’t fall easily, quickly, willingly, simply, smoothly, comfortably, or patiently.  Good luck, my friend.

199. I enjoy being a psychology test subject probably more than I should…

200. Denny’s has a TOTALLY different menu before 10pm!  It’s huge!

201. Propositions from straight guys are tempting, but not when the straight guy is creepy.

202. Blog formatting takes way too much effort sometimes.

203. Seriously, zombies are funny.

204. No one else is online at 3:30 AM.  Why did I not learn this sooner?  Like in the 40’s or 50’s sections of the mono lessons?

205. Nothing beats IMAX 3D.

206. One-paragraph summaries of an all-over-the-place lecture are rather difficult.

207. Follow my gut…  I already know this, I just need to remind myself.

208. It’s really weird to be taking The Psychology of Love when starting a new relationship…

Mono Lessons (Part IX: 166-186)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

166. The maximum amount of actually funny gay jokes has been reached.

167. Zombies are to Lindsey as Aliens are to me.

168. Allie can fit the rim of a midget Denny’s water glass in her mouth. Video proof has been captured.

169. Gay PDA in Utah is a personal safety risk.

170. An unusually large number of people are mistakenly told they have an enlarged heart.

171. Haiku is much better when in Zombie form.

172. It’s so much easier to date other Mormons.

173. Some people say to “live every week like it’s ‘Shark Week.’” I prefer to “live every week like it’s ‘Armageddon Week.”

174. I miss photography.

175. “I’ve learned how to cry and I’m better for that.” (from “Many the Miles” by Sara Bareilles)

176. Certain people are truly in the wrong line of work.

177. UTemps is my baby.

178. Hope.

179. The best medicine is laughing until it hurts. Then laughing until the hurt hurts. Then laughing until you are on the brink of crying because of the pain. Haha.

180. Arvilla is a name. A woman’s name. And she’s the best Denny’s server ever.

181. Grief and mourning is necessary for my survival, sanity, and peace of mind.

182. I have immense anger and resentment towards him for what has happened.

183. Freedom can be bittersweet.

184. Caffeine does a number on my entire body.

185. One Diet Coke can induce:

a. Heart arrhythmia

b. Hyperactivity

c. Attention deficit

d. Freezing cold hands – blood vessel constriction

e. Jitteriness

f. Racing thoughts

g. Increased heart rate

h. Anxiety associated with the heart arrhythmia

186. Never have caffeine again.

Mono Lessons (Part VIII: 141-165)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

141. Campfire-giraffe-merhhh nights are the best.

142. First meetings are always awkward. I don’t care how comfortable you think you are with someone, it’s still awkward that first time.

143. I performed quite well on my PDE tests considering I quit doing the homework halfway through the course. The mono excuse helped me out on that one…

144. I love and admire Stacie and Anita.

145. The only hope UTemps has is in our departure. No longer having stake in the Program, we can lay it all out there as we leave.

146. Change is the only constant.

147. It’s too little too late.

148. Miracles continue to happen.

149. There’s something to this “power of attraction.”

150. Some people truly do have empathy and show it in ways that are the most helpful at the time.

151. Grade miracles continue to happen.

152. I allocate and work with my “time” a lot differently than I used to.

153. Television contentment can be found solely through Hulu…and CBS.com since they’re chumps and don’t post their shows to Hulu.

154. Timing is everything.

155. “Boffin” is British slang for “scientist,” NOT “homosexual.”

156. Mexican food is the only constant.

157. I “may be gay, but [I’m] not ‘RENT gay.’”

158. I may be nerdy, but I’m not “pocket protector nerdy.”

159. Zombies are hilarious and even cuddly.

160. My friends are freaks. My favorite freaks ever. ☺

161. Mono makes me eat like a pregnant woman at Denny’s.

162. I prefer my sushi in rolls.

163. Shockingly enough, not everything orange tastes good. That caviar was the most beautiful shade of orange………

164. I’m uber uncoordinated with chopsticks. And I throw them when I’ve just had enough of their nonsense.

165. It takes a lot of energy to stay “on” when meeting bunches of new people.