Eclipsèd

No matter the number of articles you read, podcasts you listen to, blogs you scroll through, you will be very bothered by the question "How was the eclipse?" after having the opportunity to experience a total solar eclipse. It's not that any of those people were lying about the experience -- quite the contrary -- it's that words aren't the best medium for portraying the experience in the first place. Words simply do not seem to carry the momentous weight of the phenomenon.

On August 21, 2017, I was lucky enough to experience "The Great American Eclipse" at totality with one of my very best friends, Katie, north of Boise, ID. Specifically, north of Ola, ID. Even more specifically, at N 44°16'25.032" W 116°19'08.808". Here's a view from above:

The location was surprisingly tranquil with a small group of grazing horses at the bottom of the valley and the Squaw Creek flowing. There were three other groups of Eclipse watchers near by, but we were all out of hearing distance of each other. We chose to have a "separate" viewing experience, but it still felt like we were part of the huge group of people watching.

Pano of our terresterial Eclipse view

At about 10:15, we put on our Eclipse glasses and saw the first bits of the Sun being eaten away by the Moon. As it slowly drifted further over the Sun, we talked about going into this next chapter of our lives without fear and with joy. We talked about the new chapter this will open for the country - the new, higher level of vibration that the consciousness of the human race will start to accelerate toward and the significance of this this ushering Eclipse happening over the United States. We could use a higher plane right now. We talked about jobs, relationships, romance, politics, family, "shit families," physics, astronomy, astrology, metaphysics, empathic abilities, and the Divine.

When about 80% of the Sun was Eclipsèd, I felt the temperature drop and the canyon winds become cooler. At 90% Eclipsèd, it had dropped by 10°F. We said, "This is what Salt Lake will be seeing in about eight minutes! Wow!" At the same time, we heard an airplane, but couldn't find it in the sky. It must have been on the other side of the small mountain peak in front of us. It echoed and roared through the small valley. It sounded like the shadow of the moon was accelerating toward us so quickly and stirring up the atmosphere in such a way that it made an actual noise. But I'm pretty sure it was an airplane...

At 90% totality, the light around looks strange. Almost like it's overcast, but the sky is clear and light isn't being diffused through clouds. It's simply dimmer.

The picture above doesn't capture the lighting change in a specific way, but if you compare it to the panorama above, you'll notice the camera compensated for the lighting change by making this photo a bit warmer.

95% appraoches and it gets colder and more eerie. 97%...98%... The temperate has plummeted nearly 20°F. I turned around to take a picture of the incredibly blue sky behind me. Again, the camera compensated for the change in light, but the strikingly blue sky lets you know it was looking remarkably close to twilight.

As totality approaches, I feel my ancient DNA perk up and strike me with a dash of fear and terror - old memories of the ancients who didn't know what was happening to their Sun in these moments.

99% and the crescent Sun is now a slightly curved line, then a line, then a dot. I take my glasses off and squint to my left waiting for the diamond of the last bit of Sunlight. It bursts. I relax my eyes. I look up. I gasp. Katie was a few seconds late to the party, but she got there, haha!

I try to take a couple of pictures. These are the best I could get: a portion of the 360° sunset and the Eclipse itself - there's actually a little black dot in the center of that white light!

Eclipse Twilight Sunset

Eclipse. I know it's an awful picture, but it's the best I've got. The memory is crystal clear.

Eclipse. I know it's an awful picture, but it's the best I've got. The memory is crystal clear.

Next to the Sun/Moon, you could see Mercury and further along in the solar path you could see Venus - neither of which you ever get to see in the middle of the day. The Corona. How does anybody describe seeing the Sun's Corona?

Time stopped when it hit. Looking back, it feels like it lasted forever and one second simultaneously.

I keep telling everyone I can't quite find the words to describe the experience, so I'm going to list as many as I can. Are you ready?

other-worldly, frightening, awe-inspiring, weird breath-taking, transcendent, beautiful, enchanting, peaceful, joyful, blinding, backwards, inverse, important, weird, dim, bizarre, chilly, amazing, alien, rapturous, overwhelming, adrenaline-filled, weird, dusty (but that was just because of the dirt road), serene, stunning, spiritual, grounding, too fast, too short infinite, enveloping, shadowed, incredible, weird, natural gasp-worthy, Divine, unforgettable, electrifying, emotional, "worth the drive...totally worth the drive", 

Also, weird.

See? Words don't really cut it.

The spiritual gravity of this will continue to strike me and sink in over the coming days...weeks...and longer, I am sure. And you'll surely hear more from me about it.

Thank U

On a slightly less serious note, but still just as profound as my previous blog, here are some more college "Thank U"'s:

Neti Pot

Neti Pot

Thank U, Matt, for talking to me about gross neti pot and other sinus cleaning things.  And for being my first kiss.  Yep, I publicly admitted it.

Thank U, Spencer, for reminding me how fun (and insanely weird and confusing) it is to be young.

Thank U, LeAnn, for being my big sister.

LeAnn Rimes

LeAnn Rimes

Thank U, Rachel, for being my gluten-free rock.

Thank U, Kelly, for brightening my Noodle-filled dinners.

Thank U, Kelsey, for encouraging me to ride the shuttle...YOUR shuttle.  Also, for the many blonde moments you give my life.

THE Judy McLane & The Brandon Suisseat the stage door of Mamma Mia!

THE Judy McLane & The Brandon Suisse
at the stage door of Mamma Mia!

Thank U, Brandon, for being my own personal theatre encyclopedia.

Thank U, Judy, for bringing me theatre that makes me feel.

Thank U, Rachael, for being somebody I know on the radio and for sometimes telling me the news when I wake up.

 

 

"You Lost!"I see this a lot with him...

"You Lost!"
I see this a lot with him...

Thank U, Jesse, for always playing every "With Friends" game with me...even though you always win.  I hope I at least give you a good challenge every now and then!

Thank U, Dylan, for incessantly torturing me with your charming good looks and personality.  You nerd!

Imogen Heap

Imogen Heap

Thank U, Imogen, for numbing the pain, lessening the anxiety, and inspiring awe.

Thank U, Max, for being a crazy funny bisexual hipster...whatever that is...

Thank U, Brendan, for being okay with me accidentally stalking you in the Union for a couple of weeks before I even knew you.

Thank U, Melissa, for marrying a straight man.  ;-)  Oh, and for every single thing you taught me.

Thank U, Davey Wavey and Haley Star, for adding some much-needed humor (and abdominal muscles) to my life.

 

 

 

Thank U, Sam, for singing.  Please don't stop. I heart you.

"Angel" by Vinyl Tapestries (aka, Sam)

Thank U, Medium, FlashForward, Glee, Desperate Housewives, Fringe, The Amazing Race, The Middle, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, The Office, The Sing Off, New Girl, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Happy Endings and Seinfeld, for making my life seem so boring, yet so much LESS dramatic than I tend to think it is.

Thank U, Tron: Legacy, Sucker Punch, Midnight in Paris, The Help, Inception, Shutter Island, Slumdog Millionaire, Killers, and Zombieland, for the escape and stimulation.

Thank U, sexuality.
Thank U, rapture.
Thank U, music.
Thank U, UTemps.
Thank U, PTC.
Thank U, "ah-ha!" moments.
Thank U, mono.
Thank U, Westminster, CO.
Thank U, Apple.
Thank U, iPhone.
Thank U, Cymbalta.
Thank U, Disneyland.
Thank U, Proposition 8.
Thank U, Packer.
Thank U, Cupid.
Thank U, pride.
Thank U, gluten.

Thank U.

MONO Lessons (Part XIII: 246-270)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons


246. March 1st’s abruptness can actually continue to surprise me, and more so each year.

247. While in the shower, I realized I haven't honestly had the drive to find a companion or a mate since last July (2009).  And the drive continues to be absent.  (Typed in late February / early March 2010.)

248. “Time just sifts through its sift.”  (from “Buildings” by Regina Spektor)

249. Swallowing pride isn’t all that bad.  And it’s gluten-free!!!

250. Communication is KEY…from every individual involved.

251. Timing is everything…still.

252. Reaching new levels of friendship are the best!

253. Rapture is found in challenging yourself.

254. Once you floss for a while, on a regular basis, that is, your gums eventually stop bleeding!

255. I can’t read your damn mind.

256. A lot of people just don’t understand depression and it’s not worth my time trying to get them to understand.

257. I love my friends to death…but they can sure do some things that really grind my gears.

258. Lack of communication pisses me off.

259. I never thought I could/would talk about poop so freely and easily.

260. Addendum to lesson #205:  Yes, nothing beats IMAX 3D, but nothing is more trippy than IMAX 3D on the front row.  Those numbers at the beginning…they literally hit you in the face.

261. “I have been running, so sweaty my whole life / Urgent for a finish line. / And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete.” (from “Incomplete” by Alanis Morissette)  Alanis taught me this a while ago, but I thought it was worth adding to my list.

262. I can live without nasal spray finally.  A day for the history books:  Saturday, March 13, 2010 at 11:35PM I threw away my last bottle of nasal spray.  Since I hadn’t used it in a week, it seemed like an appropriate opportunity to get it out of my life.

263. All goat-derived products are absolutely repulsive.

264. Rubio’s is just plain amazing.

265. Giving an honest and positive opinion is really worthwhile.

266. I have absolutely no control over my intense attraction to certain people.

267. The only reason Saturday morning online class tests aren’t all that bad is the fact that I get to watch an episode of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers before driving up to the U.

268. Group work…ugh…it’s obnoxious, really.  Always has been, always will be.

269. When I get extremely angry about my food situation, I go on a gluten-free shopping spree and throw out intolerable food at home.

270. TMI, but I’ve never pooped this regularly before.  A good and healthy diet sure helps a lot.

"Steer" by Missy Higgins

On my list of favorite songs, this is number two: "Steer". Here, Missy Higgins recalls the moment she was inspired to create this remarkable and inspirational song. Lyrics are provided below.

"Steer" - Missy Higgins

Feel it falling off like clothing
Taste it rolling on your tongue
See the lights above you glowing
Oh and breathe them deep into your lungs

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been pulling at the strings playing puppeteer for kings
And you've had enough

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

So hold this feeling like a newborn
Of freedom surging through your veins
You have opened up a new door
So bring on the wind, fire, and rain

It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been played at a game called remembering your name
And you stuffed it up

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Ohh, yeah now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer

'Cos you've been listening for answers
Oh, but the city screams and all your dreams go unheard

But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Ohh, yeah, get out of the box and step into the clear
Ohh, 'cos now you finally know you can steer


How intimidating and liberating it is to come to this realization. To understand that you have the steering wheel for your life in your own hands is a remarkable moment. You should see her perform this LIVE! Ah! I highly recommend her album On a Clear Night.

May 24, 2008 @ 00:11, Aspen, CO, USA

May 24, 2008 @ 00:11, Aspen, CO, USA

"Incomplete" by Alanis Morissette

I have arrived at a point in my life where I can say I have a favorite song. It's seriously my absolute favorite song. It's called "Incomplete," it's by Alanis Morissette, and it's on her album titled Flavors of Entanglement (I recommend the Deluxe Edition, but here's the standard version too). Here, Alanis explains the thoughts behind her phenomenal song:

Here is the song with lyrics provided below, followed by some thoughts from me.

"Incomplete" - Alanis Morissette

One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
But never done

One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete


Rapture: An intense feeling of pleasure or joy.

Rapture is the key to this song and everything it's about. "And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete." There is so much pleasure and joy to be found in knowing I'm not perfect and I'm not even supposed to be perfect. The rapture is found in my journey. And it's not found by looking at my past; it's not found by imagining my possible future - imagining a finish line...  Rapture is simply found in personal growth.

The rapture is found here. Now. Right this very moment.

Live it. Love it. Feel it!