MONO Lessons (Part XX: 401 - 419)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

401. I lose a LOT of respect for people if I find out they’re not a registered (and active) voter.

402. Just as decongestant nasal sprays can cause rebound congestion when overused, decongestant eye drops (“red eye” eye drops) will cause rebound congestion of the eye – rebound “red eye.”  Thankfully I didn’t learn this one by experience, but instead by researching allergy eye drops.  I now know too much about allergy eye drops.

403. When I’m not happy, I hate hearing songs telling me to be happy.

404. Sitting on stage at Spring Awakening sounds glamorous and all, and it is, but as RTH put it, “we were still sitting on props.”  My ass hurts.

405. These bodies of ours are insanely imperfect.  It’s a miracle any of us are alive in the first place.

406. There is a part of me that knows this body is only a temporary inhabitance.

407. Life can really look and feel horribly sucky.  It’s anything but fun to feel this way.

408. Sometimes I get MONO Lesson writer’s block, but then I write 10 other things in the meantime while I wait for it to pass.

409. Doublespeak is maddening.

410. Sausages are silly.

411. Valentine’s Day cookie making with the boyfriend = adorable idea by me.  Oh, and the cookies were amazing GF, DF, and EF delights.

412. Bananas are also kind of silly.  …But not as silly as sausages.

413. When it comes to sausages, my mom and I turn into 7 year olds.

414. If you’re feeling constipated and also happen to have a sinus infection, antibiotics help both.  Double duty, if you will.  Duty.

415. Helping feels good.

416. Sometimes, normally normal things seem weirder than they ought...while sometimes, something new and kind of weird and bizarre can feel totally natural.

417. It’s tough to tell whether a difficult situation which, whether you like it or not, has an affect on your relationship with somebody, will immensely enhance this relationship or steadily destroy it.

418. 3-4 prunes at breakfast each day helps things keep moving.

419. Prunes really do taste pretty good.  (Especially Paul Newman's prunes.)

Because God Told Me So: Caffeine

I don't drink coffee...because God told me so.

I don't drink tea...because God told me so.

I drink Coke...Diet Coke...Mountain Dew...Red Bull, Amp, Monster, Rockstar, and 5 Hour Energy...because God didn't tell me I couldn't.

Caffeine content of all the above mentioned beverages:

Beverage Caffeine Content
(mg/oz)		 Sugar Content
(g/oz)
Coke
2.9
3.38
Diet Coke
3.8
0 (aspartame...)
Mountain Dew
4.5
3.92
Red Bull
9.5
3.19
Amp
8.9 - 11.2
3.12 - 3.62
Monster
8.4 - 13.2
2.60 - 3.38
Rockstar
10 - 20.8
2.12 - 4.94
5 Hour Energy
69
0
Coffee
13.4
0
Decaf Coffee
0.7
0
Brewed, Iced
and Chai Tea
5.9
0
Green Tea
3.1
0

Data from http://www.energyfiend.com/

I don't avoid caffeine because God told me so.  I have a heart arrhythmia that is greatly aggravated by caffeine.  The arrhythmia is not life-threatening or anything like that, but it's annoying, to say the least.  So, I avoid caffeine.  I do enjoy tea, but it is usually herbal tea and therefore caffeine free.  I sometimes have green tea, but it appears its other positive effects outweigh its caffeine content for me.  Now coffee I just think is nasty.  Decaf or not, I'll pass.  I just think it's gross!

The sugar content statistics speak for themselves...

Those are MY reasons for following MY personal "word of wisdom".  Through trial and error, personal experience, and personal revelation, I have learned my body and mind do not like caffeine.

MONO Lessons (Part XIX: 383 - 400)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

383. Nancy Pelosi is perpetually watching somebody NOT use a coaster.

384. Red vs. Red is a battle of very strong wills and hard heads.  I should say “Red + Red” instead…vs. sounds so opposing.

385. I’m a fucking catch.  There.  I finally typed it in here.  Enough talk…time to put it in writing (other than text message).

386. Haikus are lacking / A sufficient amount of / Syllables to make……..a point.  See?

387. Contacts are awful.  I hate them.  They’re definitely not for me.  Glasses it is.

388. It’s not like this is a new revelation, but finals week changes my brain chemistry.  It’s gross.

389. During finals week, all decision-making must be postponed until the storm is over.

390. If it happens to be fall finals week, postpone all decision-making until after January 1.

391. Casein makes up 80% of milk’s protein content.

392. Gluten and casein have a similar molecular structure.

393. White Christmas = cheese.

394. It’s amazing how much can change in just one year.  It’s even more amazing how much doesn’t change.

395. TRON: Legacy…my next Inception?

396. Not only is the picture larger and clearer in IMAX, the sound is significantly better.  Recommendation made.

397. Cheapness can be both a “genetic” and learned behavior.

398. Someone else in this world learned stuff while they had mono.  Her name is August, even though that’s a boy’s name, apparently.  ;-)  Who would have thought searching “mono” and “lesson” on Twitter would give any result besides me?

399. I’m allergic to everything just like my mom.  Thanks, mom.

400. Blogging success: writing about “my past” in a way that makes people think the blog is about a person.

MONO Lessons (Part XVIII: 366 - 382)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

366. The more I think about it, the more I want nothing to do with anything Mormon.

367. I need somebody to type my autobiography while I just blab away about my bizarre and somewhat heartbreaking past.

368. I don’t believe in “love at first sight.”  However, I’m a strong believer in “like at first sight” and an even stronger believer in “lust at first sight.”

369. I have some unresolved issues with him.

370. She can hold out for a whole month!

371. I’m acting like a teenager and I’m fine with it.

372. Daiquiri Ice is DAIRY FREE!

373. Physics is more phun when I can phocus on it.

374. If I need a new kidney, YOU are waking up in an ice bath. Just sayin’…

375. I'm pretty rational about flying off the handle. – AEW

376. When I’m annoyed, I can’t hide it.

377. Don’t have the ice cream.  Just don’t.

378. The best part about having a boyfriend is he goes to every freaking concert with me.  ☺

379. When finally confronted with a question you’ve been waiting to be asked for years, it can catch you so off guard that you freeze up and avoid answering it the way you’ve rehearsed a million times in your head.

380. 1982 Tron = AWFUL!  Seriously.  Did Disney really release that to the general public?

381. I have never found a human being more repugnant, cowardly, and disgraceful than those two and I haven’t even met them.

382. Somebody dislikes Halloween more than I. And that’s saying something.

MONO Lessons (Part XV: 300 - 320)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

300. Some places are just not worth spending the time, energy, and money to eat (particularly gluten-free) at.  I apologize for ending that sentence with a preposition.

301. It’s hard enough for me without the perpetual snide comments.

302. Mood changes can be sudden and unannounced with an obviously noticeable shift as well as sudden and announced with no detectable actual change.

303. Flash drives can never be solely trusted.

304. I feel extremely gratified when my re-petition is approved and I got everything I wanted in the first place.

305. Pride will forever be a gluten-free food that I will be swallowing regularly.

306. I can even survive 8+ vials of blood being taken from my arm!

307. It’s really weird knowing more than your own doctor…you know…the one who knows everything.

308. Back on May 3, 2010, I realized I was in limerence with her.  That’s what happened!  You can be in limerence with the “wrong” gender.  Now I finally have a name for it!

309. These foods, oddly, have gluten in them:

a. Soy Sauce

b. Teriyaki Sauce

c. Blue Cheese

d. Marinades and Seasonings

e. Couscous – it’s actually a pasta

f. Malt (malt anything comes from barley)

g. Caramel Flavor

h. Caramel Color (but usually not any more)

i. Roasted/Glazed/Candied Nuts

j. Vitamins

k. Gravy

l. Oats…kind of…but not really.  They are all too often contaminated with gluten, but don’t possess any of their own gluten.  This is always a wonderful conversation starter.  (See Lesson 274)

m. Tofu.  Wha?!  I know, right?  Stupid wheat fillers.  (As a side note, Kofu is 99.999% pure gluten.  Note to self: Definitely avoid Kofu.)

n. Licorice

o. Imitation seafood, like imitation crab

310. These foods are shockingly gluten-free

a. Buckwheat

b. Glutinous rice

c. Corn gluten

d. Wheat grass

e. Fruity Pebbles – For some odd reason I assumed they were gluteny…

f. Rumbi’s chicken.  I swear to you, everyone else’s chicken is marinated in gluten!

311. My potassium STILL isn’t as high as I was hoping.  What the crap?!?  No wonder my heart still has episodes.

312. It’s nice to be on the same page this time around.  Thanks for giving me a break this time around, universe.

313. “Don’t look for Mr. Right, be Mr. Right and the rest will fall into place.” – MB

314. As usual, summer brings people out of the woodwork.

315. Scalp Oil + Shower Cap + Big Gun Acne Spot Treatment + Extra Lotion Around Lips = Jason Looks Like a Freaking Monster at Bedtime

316. I now have empathy for people with scalp issues ranging from mild dandruff to full-fledged scalp psoriasis.

317. Writing and mailing letters to people is really rather fun.

318. Sometimes I go WAY too long without writing mono lessons.  They then get backed up (constipated, if you will) in my brain and then finally spill out all over the place.

319. A lot can change in a year.  Namely feelings.  Stupid fickle feelings.

320. Oddly, confusion is sometimes rather peaceful.  Wha?

MONO Lessons (Part XIII: 246-270)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

246. March 1st’s abruptness can actually continue to surprise me, and more so each year.

247. While in the shower, I realized I haven't honestly had the drive to find a companion or a mate since last July (2009).  And the drive continues to be absent.  (Typed in late February / early March 2010.)

248. “Time just sifts through its sift.”  (from “Buildings” by Regina Spektor)

249. Swallowing pride isn’t all that bad.  And it’s gluten-free!!!

250. Communication is KEY…from every individual involved.

251. Timing is everything…still.

252. Reaching new levels of friendship are the best!

253. Rapture is found in challenging yourself.

254. Once you floss for a while, on a regular basis, that is, your gums eventually stop bleeding!

255. I can’t read your damn mind.

256. A lot of people just don’t understand depression and it’s not worth my time trying to get them to understand.

257. I love my friends to death…but they can sure do some things that really grind my gears.

258. Lack of communication pisses me off.

259. I never thought I could/would talk about poop so freely and easily.

260. Addendum to lesson #205:  Yes, nothing beats IMAX 3D, but nothing is more trippy than IMAX 3D on the front row.  Those numbers at the beginning…they literally hit you in the face.

261. “I have been running, so sweaty my whole life / Urgent for a finish line. / And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete.” (from “Incomplete” by Alanis Morissette)  Alanis taught me this a while ago, but I thought it was worth adding to my list.

262. I can live without nasal spray finally.  A day for the history books:  Saturday, March 13, 2010 at 11:35PM I threw away my last bottle of nasal spray.  Since I hadn’t used it in a week, it seemed like an appropriate opportunity to get it out of my life.

263. All goat-derived products are absolutely repulsive.

264. Rubio’s is just plain amazing.

265. Giving an honest and positive opinion is really worthwhile.

266. I have absolutely no control over my intense attraction to certain people.

267. The only reason Saturday morning online class tests aren’t all that bad is the fact that I get to watch an episode of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers before driving up to the U.

268. Group work…ugh…it’s obnoxious, really.  Always has been, always will be.

269. When I get extremely angry about my food situation, I go on a gluten-free shopping spree and throw out intolerable food at home.

270. TMI, but I’ve never pooped this regularly before.  A good and healthy diet sure helps a lot.

MONO Lessons (Part XI: 209-228)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

209. It’s January 27, 2010, and to be honest, I don’t really think I have mono any more. However, things aren’t back to normal. My appetite is odd, my sleep cycle is odd…I just feel odd. I think I have food allergies that are prolonging everything.

210. Whether I still have mono or not, I keep learning things, so I think I should continue my mono lessons list – both for personal reasons and for the sake of blog entertainment.  In case I don’t actually have mononucleosis (symptoms) any more, MONO Lessons will stand for Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational Lessons.  That’s what these silly lessons really are, anyway. ☺

211. I’m grateful I took Foundations of Analysis…?!?  What?!?

212. Valentine’s Day comes to mind much sooner when it appears you’ll actually have a valentine.

213. 55” of TV is a LOT of TV.

214. There are few things that will keep me up until 4am.  Tennis is one of them.

215. I get extremely offended when my petition is denied.

216. Attraction is SO complicated!  And it dictates our thoughts and feelings about absolutely everyone!

217. I actually can get my blood drawn with out totally freaking out.

218. Just being in the University Hospital makes me extremely happy.

219. Hospital cafeteria food is better than Union food.  And cheaper.  And more healthy.

220. The Green shuttle doesn’t stop at the Union, only Red and Blue do.

221. Atenolol makes being nervous so much more bearable.

222. School is “easier” when unemployed.

223. Alec Woodbury and Allie Wall have the same initials!!!

224. Leaping zombies are the best.

225. There are certain people with whom I should not be alone for an extended period of time. Specifically while school is going.

226. We’re literally writing the next page of our life novel right now; “the rest is still unwritten.”

227. Slaps in the face are rather enlightening for both parties – the slappee and the slapper.

228. I would SO much rather get a free Grand Slam at Denny’s on my 21st birthday than get drunk.