All this tiredness is making me sleepy.

I'm tired of being treated differently.
I'm so over being an exception.
I'm sick of everything I say and do being new, different, and "outside the box."
I'm spent making statements - political, social, religious...  
I'm done being "special." *gag* 

I'm tired of dodging possibly intellectual conversations.
I'm annoyed by the clumsy small talk.
I've had it with being the elephant in the room.
I'm worn out by my constantly burning ears.
I'm exhausted from hesitating.

I'm tired of being "abnormal."
I've had it up to here being called "homosexual."
I'm burnt out calling him "just a friend."
I'm disgusted with being your "gay friend."
I'm fed up with being the resident "gay couple."

I'm tired of being marginalized.
I'm tired of being classified. 
I'm tired of being compared - to gays, straights, and everyone in between...
I'm tired of being discriminated.
I'm tired of being stereotyped.

I'm tired of being an agenda.

I'm Jason.

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today...

I started getting a "cold"...
                                            Which turned into a "sinus infection"...
                                                                                                            Mono the whole time

I'd only had my blood drawn twice in 20 years
I had never regularly broken out in hives
My heart arrhythmia was as common as a Venus transit
All tea tasted like hay
The "Mono Lessons" began to occur but were not yet being documented
"Tired" had a completely different meaning

I had a great job
I had the most incredible coworkers
I was taking my first business trip
We were as strong as ever
We were beginning to truly bond
The end was at least 2 years away
                                                         ...not 6 months

Life wasn't as hemorrhoidy and didn't sting
Life wasn't as bloated
Life wasn't as constipated
But it was a bit...irregular
I ate whatever the hell I wanted
I weighed 170 lbs

I wasn't as experienced
I wasn't as empathetic
I wasn't as forgiving
Lisa hadn't yet changed my life
I wasn't as patient
I wasn't as friendly
I wasn't as mindful

I didn't know I'd be so happy to have the last year behind me

...one year ago today.

Mono Lessons (Part I: 1-24)

And so begins the posting of my "Mono Lessons." As I mentioned earlier, I have a whole gigantic list of these written, so I will post them in smaller spurts.

I believe a lot of people who will be reading these are either specifically mentioned or alluded to in my "lessons." This could get rather interesting.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

1. It is difficult to stay healthy long enough to qualify for a flu vaccination.

2. It is so much more convenient and comfortable to breathe out of your nose. Hence, it is very likely to become addicted (literally) to nasal spray.

3. Your true friends are the ones who stick around knowing you haven’t been yourself for months on end.

4. Antibiotics for “sinus infections” will cause hives when you have mono. I guess it didn’t help that I also didn’t actually have a sinus infection in the first place.

5. Hives will get out of control if you don’t take an antihistamine and/or put Cortizone 10 on them as soon as you feel an outbreak occurring.

6. I’m allergic to Bactrim and Ceftin.

7. Mono will slow down room rearrangement projects…greatly.

8. Getting your blood drawn can actually be a non-horrific experience.

9. Being “too tired” is apparently only legitimate if you have a blood test to back it up.

10. Endless amounts of jokes can be made about mono all because someone decided to call it the “kissing disease.” Only thing is, it’s endless amounts of the SAME joke.

11. It is unbelievably hard for me to ask for less responsibility.

12. I hadn’t realized how emotionally invested I am/was in the UTemps Program. I had never bawled over taking time off before. It was devastating.

13. Bowling IS a sport.

14. I could actually be skinnier than I was.

15. What true nausea is.

16. Empathy for:

a. Mom

b. Dad

c. Sherri

d. Kelsey

e. Deanna

17. What fatigue is.

18. How much a pleasant memory is worth.

19. Boys can wait.

20. Most things can wait.

21. I can wait.

22. People can change. And those changed people will continue to surprise you.

23. Shattered friendships can begin to heal.

24. Some friendships need to end…or at least take a break.