Wishes: A Letter

Wishes: A Letter

When my hair was still bull cut
I stood with the horses
Feeding them apples and cherries.
You rocked on the porch wishing—
Wishing it would never end.

But at seven, my mind grew
     And yours faded.
Age is setting in and I wish—
Wish I could turn back time.

You stayed strong-no pain-
     Only courage.
It is so hard to watch this process
And I wish—
Wish it would not claim more.

As eleven rolls by, hope has changed.
Hope of life turns to hope of freedom
     From the sickened body and mind.
As we kneel around your bed
     We pray for your comfort and release
And wish—
Wish we could see grandpa again too.

Now much has passed and we’ve all come to terms
     That you are gone.
But memories give life—
Hope gives life—
Love
        gives
                 life!
I can’t wait for the day when I need wish—
Need wish no more.

(Written in May/June 2006)

Inspired by Ezra Pound's "The River-Merchant's Wife: A Letter"

Aaron the Whole Foods Boy

"Aaron the Whole Foods Boy" by Jason Hoggan
(Inspired by Kristin Chenoweth's "Taylor the Latte Boy")

There's a boy I'll meet at Whole Foods
Who is very diet contentious
He is very diet contentious because of many things.

I come in at 7:30 (PM, of course) and head straight for the bulk whole raw cashews.
We all love our bulk whole raw cashews
They make our taste buds grow wings!

So today at 7:30 (PM, of course)
I realized this is probably where I'll meet him
This is probably where I'll meet him
But near some obscure gluten-free food

So today at 7:30 (PM, of course), when I headed straight for the bulk whole raw cashews
I took a sharp turn to the right instead
And headed toward the blessèd nut thins

And I pondered, "Are these obscure enough?"
"Probably not.  They're pretty picked over and popular."
I bet his name will be Aaron,
Which provides the inspiration for this poem:

Aaron the Whole Foods boy
Bring me gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, bring me joy!
Oh Aaron the Whole Foods boy
I love him, I love him, I love him...

So I'd like to get my nerve up
And search a new GF aisle
He'll be on a new GF aisle
By an extremely obscure food
So today at 7:30, I went down another GF aisle
There I see a boy humming LeAnn Rimes with hot, sexy red hair!

As I quickly glide toward him, I chime in to his humming
It's "Something I Can Feel"! (Thank goodness not something cliché!)
So I gently tap his shoulder, and mouth the words to the song
And I knew his singing back meant that Aaron loved me too!
I said, "What's that in your hand there?  And by the way, I love your red hair..."
He said, "Gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free cookies and this box right here is just for you!"

*sigh* 

Aaron the Whole Foods boy
Bring me gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, bring me joy!
Oh Aaron the Whole Foods boy
I love him, I love him, I love him...

I used to be the kind of guy
Who'd cringe when love stood in front of him.
But finally a blood test whispered, "Love can be yours
If you venture into Whole Foods for GF delights!"

Aaron the Whole Foods boy
Bring me gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, bring me joy!
Oh Aaron the Whole Foods boy
I love him, I love him, I love him...

So many months my heart has dreamèd,
Who'd have thought that love could be so gluten-free?

Aaron the Whole Foods boy

I love him, I love him, I love him...
I love him, I love him, I love him...

"Taylor the Latte Boy" by Kristin Chenoweth (Lyrics provided below.)

There's a boy who works at Starbucks
Who is very inspirational.
He is very inspirational because of many things.

I come in at 8:11, and he smiles and says, "How are you?"
When he smiles and says, "How are you?"
I could swear my heart grows wings!

So today at 8:11
I decided I should meet him
I decided I should meet him
In a proper formal way.

So today at 8:11 when he smiled and said "How are you?"
I said "Fine, and my name's Kristin,"
And he softly answered, "Hey."

And I said "My name is Kristin, and thank you for the extra foam..."
And he said his name was Taylor,
Which provides the inspiration for this poem:

Taylor the latte boy,
Bring me java, bring me joy!
Oh Taylor the latte boy,
I love him, I love him, I love him...

So I'd like to get my nerve up
To recite my poem musical.
He would like the fact it's musical
Because he plays guitar.
So today at 8:11, Taylor told me he was playing
In a band down in the village in the basement of a bar.

And he smoothly flipped the lever to prepare my double latte,
But for me he made it triple! (And he didn't think I knew)
But I saw him flip the lever, and for me he made it triple,
And I knew that triple latte meant that Taylor loved me too!
I said, "What time are you playing? And thank you for the extra skin..."
He said, "Keep the $3.55," because this triple latte was on him.

*sigh*

Taylor the latte boy,
Bring me java, bring me joy!
Oh Taylor the latte boy,
I love him, I love him, I love him...

I used to be the kind of girl
Who'd run when love rushed toward her.
But finally a voice whispered, "Love can be yours,
If you step up to the counter and order."

Taylor the latte boy,
Bring me java, bring me joy!
Oh Taylor the latte boy,

I love him, I love him, I love him...

So many years my heart has waited,
Who'd have thought that love could be so caffeinated?

Taylor, the latte boy,
I love him, I love him, I love him.
I love him, I love him, I love him. 

Special thanks to Maren Ritter for being the reason I love this song so!

Burden on Society

Yes...and can I get that without bread?
     ...without seasoning?
     ...without sauce?
     ...without croutons?
     ...without dressing?
And also...without cheese?
            ...without mayo?
            ...without cream sauce?
            ...without butter?
Yeah...can I get that plain?
                            ...on corn shells?
                            ...wrapped in lettuce?
                            ...bun-less?
So uh...can I substitute that with guacamole?
                                       ...with salsa?
                                       ...with rice?
                                       ...with plain steamed veggies?
                                       ...with rice noodles?

Can I ask you a question...?
What is this fried in?
Is it fried with anything breaded?
How often do you change the oil?
How often do you clean your grill?
Could you please change your gloves?
Could I see your gluten-free menu?
Do you even know what gluten is?
Then can I see your allergy menu?
This black and white piece of printer paper is it?
Oh, so even though your menu says it's gluten-free, it actually isn't?
Where is the gluten-free section?
Oh...that little area is it?
I've already tried all of it...

No, sir...no.
You have this backwards:
Society is a burden on ME.

Can I speak with the manager?

Fence-Sitting

Am I just crazy?
Am I missing something?
Am I just not with it any more?
Have I gone off the deep end?
Am I a lunatic?
I don't understand...

Why is it so difficult to comprehend being both Mormon and gay?
I don't think it's that difficult...
Why are you so worried about what everyone else thinks about you?
Why do they feel so compelled to live "all or nothing" lives?
Why do you want to conform?
Being Mormon is a part of you.
Being gay is a part of you.
Why deny either of those aspects?

Some call it fence-sitting.

If "fence-sitting" is what it takes so you don't kill yourself...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes so you can finally find some peace in this life...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes so you don't make the biggest mistake of your life...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes for you to forgive yourself...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes for you to forgive everyone else...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes for you to be yourself...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes to literally keep your sanity...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes to truly soul-search...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes to discover your own opinions and beliefs...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes...
                                                        how on earth can it be so wrong?

The gays aren't right about everything.
The Mormons aren't right about everything.
They both have things to contribute.
They even coincide!

So...
Am I just crazy?
                                                       Or are you?
Am I missing something?
                                                       Or are you?
Am I just not with it any more?
                                                       Or are you?
Have I gone off the deep end? 
                                                       Or have you?
Am I a lunatic?
                                                       Or are you?
I don't understand...
                                                       you.

To all the (difficult) parents of gay children:

It's not a phase.
It won't change.
It can't change.

Do you honestly think your child would choose to be this way?
Why would you want your child to change?
Why do you want your child to change?
Why can't you love them the way they are?
It's not like you didn't have a suspicion...

It's not your "fault."
It's not their "fault."
You played enough catch with him.
You had enough tea parties with her.
He had enough interaction with you, dad.
And mom, you weren't "overbearing."

How dare you hit him?
How dare you slap her?
How dare you kick him out of your house?
How dare you call her those names?
How dare you disown your child?
Maybe you don't deserve to have your own child as part of your life anyway.

Don't you get it?
Your religion can't "save" him.
Your counselor can't "fix" her.
What is there to save?
What is there to fix?

Remember that thing called unconditional love?
Use it.

He confided in you because he trusts you.
She told you because she wants, no, needs your support.

What makes him happy?
What gives her joy?
Support that.
The rest will fall into place.

You don't hold the answer.
Neither do they.
Just hop on for the ride.
Take it day by day.

21 Years Worth of Gluten

I'm 21 today.

            What does that mean?

Renewing driver license.
A new driver license picture.
One year closer to getting own insurance.
Andrew Legend is 19 and somehow still running...for now.
No cake or pie. They all have gluten and/or dairy in them.
21+ concert venues and no missing Missy, Pat, or LeAnn any more.
5 leap-days have made my birthday feel one day late.
Only one other person exists with this same birthday.
(Happy birthday to her!)
Checking in to any hotel.
21 years worth of gluten.
Gambling tuition money away.
One year closer to renting a car.
Most of that 21st year was spent ill.
Could have been legally smoking for 2 years.
Could have been getting back from my mission soon. Ha.
Now an adult. Whatever the hell that means.
2.5 years left of undergraduateness.
March 1st has yet again snuck up on us all.
February is still shorter than all the other months.
Escaped from high school 3 years ago.
"Jase" was renounced 13 years ago.
All that is wanted...needed...is birthday cash.
Regular multivitamin and supplement schedule.
Legal porn viewing in all 50 states.
No longer in the limbo of 20.
13 years of being LeAnn's #1 fan.
5 LeAnn Rimes concerts...ready for 50 more.
6 down, 1 to go.  Alanis...come on.  I'm waiting.
"Out" (whatever that means) for 3 years and 3 months.  Wow.
Lucky number 7's chance has officially arrived.
A consistent pattern of facial hair can be kept.
I get to read my seminary letters.
Adult, horizontally oriented driver license.

Oh yeah...

    And I guess I can now legally drink, huh?

Fun.