Daemon of The Past

Photo by CodingNinja

Photo by CodingNinja

Movies portray daemons in so many ways - some crawl, some swoop like ghosts, and some lurk faceless in the shadows. But the worst daemon of them all is The Past - unseen and non palpable.

The Past terrorizes the mind like the ghosts of asylum patients haunt the halls of their former home.

The Past is a liar. It fools you into believing a hologram. It's fake. It's a façade hiding your mind's eye from reality and The Truth.

The Past makes you angry and bitter. It makes you blame everyone...everything...except yourself.

The Past asserts you had no control. It was his fault. It was her fault. If only he didn't do that...if only she didn't say that...then things would be better for ME.

The Past is denial.

But at the same time, The Past is guilt and self-loathing. The Past is worthlessness and hopelessness. The Past digs a pit of shame and throws you in, spiraling toward the invisible bottom.

Photo by brownspoo

Photo by brownspoo

The Past enjoys being construed, twisted, and morphed into whatever causes you the most possible pain.

The Past then wants you to awaken its brother daemons in the people around you. Spread the pain and suffering!

The Past is a kidney stone of the mind. The pain is excruciating. It can even feel like you may die.

The Past makes you sadder than you ever thought possible. It makes your tear ducts shrivel. It makes your sleep scarce and strenuous.

The Past wants to break free and become reality. It will convince you its freedom will be your solace, when in fact, it is your demise.

The Past breaks free with death - your death. The escape from its torture lies in your own hands. You must die to alleviate the depression, pain, and tormenting anxiety The Past inflicts.

Of course this isn't The Truth. The Past destroys hope, butchers faith, and mocks The Truth.

But The Truth knows self eradication will only cause more pain - for your soul and those you leave behind.

Photo by lorrainemd

Photo by lorrainemd

The Truth may not be pretty, but it's not a big phony like The Past.

The Truth is now.
The Truth is here.

The Truth doesn't dabble with The Past.
The Truth doesn't fiddle with The Future.

The Truth is grace.
The Truth is the escape.

The Truth is happiness.
The Truth is Love.

The Truth is health and healing.

MONO Lessons (Part XVI: 321 - 342)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons


321. I like him.  I like him a lot.

322. I haven’t had the opportunity to be just friends with someone before dating them.  The transition is so pleasant and non-nerve-racking.  Natural, if you will.

323. I suddenly like the song “Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morissette…hmmm…

324. It’s even weirder to have completed Psychology of Love a couple of months ago and now beginning an actual new relationship.  Talk about textbook…

325. I CAN MAKE GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE, & EGG-FREE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES!!!  Epic day.  07/11/10.

326. That woman lives her life through her pain-body.  How sad.

327. Minds can change extremely fast.

328. I have identified five collective pain-bodies in which I have a stake:

a. The American Gay (LGBTQ+) Pain-Body

b. The Mormon (LDS) Pain-Body

c. The Gay Mormon Pain-Body

d. The Food Allergy Pain-Body

e. The Gluten-Intolerant/Celiac Pain-Body

329. I find hidden Mickey’s in my everyday life.

330. I’m capable of sending and receiving an “It’s me” voicemail.

331. The past can truly be haunting.

332. “D-BOX” isn’t dirty, it’s just a vibratey seat!

333. When I like a movie enough, I can see it 5 times in 15 days.  Inception rocks.

334. Monday, August 30, 2010:  Kidney stone.  Worst.  Pain.  EVER.

335. Guess what?  Potassium, still only inching it’s way up.  I have far more blood tests than I would prefer.

336. If they changed their mind and “accepted” me, I don’t think I would go back.  The damage is done.

337. Clubbing is much more tolerable with a significant other.

338. Blogging is like therapy.

339. Protests and rallies are like therapy.

340. Wendover is so sleazy it’s spectacular.

341. Gambling is kinda stupid…

342. Saying “my boyfriend” makes me all giddy.  *sigh*