"Three Cheers for Five Years [Acoustic]" by Mayday Parade

I call this my first punk song...even thought it's the acoustic version of a punk song making it not really punk...and even though Mayday Parade's punkness is sometimes debatable.  Anyway, that said, "Three Cheers for Five Years" is on Punk Goes Acoustic 2, and, not being a punk fan before this, I consider it punk.  :-)

I think this song is simply breathtaking with its incredible harmonies.  I hope you've got some spare time on your hands because it's rather lengthy, but it's worth it.  If you're interested in listening to the original version, here is a LINK.  In the meantime, here is the acoustic version with lyrics provided below.

"Three Cheers for Five Years" - Mayday Parade

I swear that you don't have to go, I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms and spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely 

'Cause it's another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, 

In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening 

Moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across your key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us, not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I give my heart as an offering (as an offering)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely
It's just another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, 

In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same...

And I... Will always... Remember you as you are right now to me
And I... Will always... Remember you now, remember you now...
Oh...

So sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight

And how does he feel? And how does he kiss?
And how does he taste while he's on your lips?

How does he feel?  How does he kiss?

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)

And I can't forget you
I know that you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you

So when this is over, don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight) 
I know you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you, I want to.

Fag.

I hate this word.
Not surprisingly, I also hate the word "faggot."
I'm actually cringing as I type these.
I'm not going to type it again.

In my world, this f word is like the n word.
...Only I don't allow other homos to use this word around/at me either.
It's not funny.

Some words have a tendency to carry as much baggage as a cargo jet.
This is one of those words.
No matter how lightheartedly it is used...
No matter how often it is used...
No matter how incorrectly it is used...
No matter who uses it...
Its intensity does not fade,
It's still derogatory,
It still hurts,
and it's still rude.

In fact, it's abusive.

Accordion Man

 I'm rather proud of this picture.  I took this picture while I was in a digital photography class a couple of years ago.  It's no mystery I was taught how to use Photoshop because of this class, so I thought I would show you this picture in a "before and after" style.  "Before" is the original photograph - the digital negative.  "After" is my final cropped and edited version of the photo.  For those of you that don't know, if you click on a photo in a blog, you can see a big version of it.  I encourage this practice.  Enjoy.

The best part of this photo is the fact that I was walking, looking forward, holding my camera near the bottom of my ribcage with the lens aimed to my right side.  *click*  Got it.  Miracle.  Oh, and this guy is a redhead!

Before:

After:

What do you do?

What do you do when the ones who love you don't love you any more?
What do you do when you don't feel safe in your own "home"?
What do you do when hypocrisy is the head of your household?
What do you do when fear and dread won't let you sleep?
What do you do when you hear hatred bang on your bedroom door?
What do you do when you bruise easily?
What do you do when you're freezing?
What do you do when you're already hurting?
What do you do when you can't leave?
What do you do when your pillow can't absorb any more tears?

What do you do when you want to do nothing at all?
What do you do when hate everything you're doing?
What do you do when you don't even want to listen to your favorite music?
What do you do when your legs bounce like Thumper's do?
What do you do when your homework reads like a foreign language?
What do you do when you're numb?
What do you do when you're bouncing off the walls?
What do you do when you want to bury yourself in a hole?
What do you do when you want to fall asleep and not wake up until it's better?
What do you do when it feels like your world is falling apart, only the world hasn't even noticed a crack?

I don't know what to do.

MONO Lessons (Part XVI: 321 - 342)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

321. I like him.  I like him a lot.

322. I haven’t had the opportunity to be just friends with someone before dating them.  The transition is so pleasant and non-nerve-racking.  Natural, if you will.

323. I suddenly like the song “Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morissette…hmmm…

324. It’s even weirder to have completed Psychology of Love a couple of months ago and now beginning an actual new relationship.  Talk about textbook…

325. I CAN MAKE GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE, & EGG-FREE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES!!!  Epic day.  07/11/10.

326. That woman lives her life through her pain-body.  How sad.

327. Minds can change extremely fast.

328. I have identified five collective pain-bodies in which I have a stake:

a. The American Gay (LGBTQ+) Pain-Body

b. The Mormon (LDS) Pain-Body

c. The Gay Mormon Pain-Body

d. The Food Allergy Pain-Body

e. The Gluten-Intolerant/Celiac Pain-Body

329. I find hidden Mickey’s in my everyday life.

330. I’m capable of sending and receiving an “It’s me” voicemail.

331. The past can truly be haunting.

332. “D-BOX” isn’t dirty, it’s just a vibratey seat!

333. When I like a movie enough, I can see it 5 times in 15 days.  Inception rocks.

334. Monday, August 30, 2010:  Kidney stone.  Worst.  Pain.  EVER.

335. Guess what?  Potassium, still only inching it’s way up.  I have far more blood tests than I would prefer.

336. If they changed their mind and “accepted” me, I don’t think I would go back.  The damage is done.

337. Clubbing is much more tolerable with a significant other.

338. Blogging is like therapy.

339. Protests and rallies are like therapy.

340. Wendover is so sleazy it’s spectacular.

341. Gambling is kinda stupid…

342. Saying “my boyfriend” makes me all giddy.  *sigh*

"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor

This is my favorite music video ever! Regina is the best!  This is also, by far, the best song about prostitution.

"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor

You-ou-ou-ou-ou a-a-a-a-a-are
So-o-o-o-o sw-ee-ee-ee-ee-eet
Da-a-a-a-an-ci-i-i-ing to that
Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eat

There's a meat market down the street
The boys and the girls watch each other eat

You are so sweet, so sweet
Dancing and moving to that beat, that beat

There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
The boys and the girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep

You are so sweet.
(Once more)
You are so sweet
(Solo)

[Regina's Piano Solo]

I went walking through this city
Like a drunk, but not
With my slip showing a little
Like a drunk, but not
And I am one of your people
But the cars don't stop
And I am one of your people
But the cars don't stop

It's been a long time since before I've been touched
Now I'm getting touched all the time
And it's only a matter of whom
And it's only a matter of when

An addiction to hands and feet
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other sleep
An addiction to hands and feet
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep

Mon Corps

I recently had a bout with food poisoning.  While sitting on or worshiping the toilet, I was amazed at the urgency of my body's evacuation method.  I had no conscious say as to whether this "everything must go" event was truly necessary.  My body just decided it must be so.  So I had no other choice but to trust my body and go along with this horrendous expulsion technique.

To get my mind off of the misery, I attempted to remove my consciousness from the situation as much as I could.  I didn't make it very far, but I did have a light-bulb moment I hadn't experienced in this way before.  I realized there is something "inside" me that knows this body of mine is only a temporary mechanism it must inhabit to be here.  Here on this planet.  This part of me made me literally laugh at how silly and absurd my situation was and reassured me that what was happening to my body was only temporary would allow me to be on this planet for longer.  Well, for at least as long as I'm supposed to be here.

Our bodies are unfathomably intricate.  It's a miracle anyone is even alive.  It's a miracle anyone has babies.  It's a miracle we're all not (more) physically and mentally deformed considering how horribly wrong everything could go while we grow.

Almost all of our bodily functions happen without our say.  It's absolutely astounding.  Just like I didn't have a say as to whether I wanted to be vomiting and have diarrhea all night, I also had no say when I started losing my baby teeth...when I started puberty...when my voice changed...  I don't think about beating my heart, breathing, digesting...even walking sometimes seems so natural that I dare say I don't think about it.

All of these things that are so trivial from an eternal perspective, our bodies just do for us so we can live out our meaningful life here on Earth.  Not having to think about running our vital organs lets us think about the things that are truly important...and the things that drive us insane.  Sometimes it would be nice to escape because "I'm too busy digesting my breakfast, beating my heart, breathing, growing my nails and hair, and splitting millions of other cells to replace the ones that died..."  But that'd get old; really fast.  And nothing else would ever be accomplished!  We'd all just lie down at home breathing, beating our heart, and digesting....  I get annoyed enough that I have to eat, "use" the bathroom, and sleep...but I'd rather consciously do those than anything even more rudimentary.

Now that I am running out of rambles to try to explain my little light-bulb moment, here is my point.  I believe I will exist in some conscious form after my body has become too worn to continue automatically keeping itself alive.  I believe I also existed in some form before I inhabited this extremely imperfect, yet miraculous, body.  I believe this so strongly, in fact, that this belief's depth and origin seem unexplainable...  Some people call it their spirit, some call it their soul...I'm not sure what I want to call it.  But I know there is a part of me that will outlast this physical existence.  It will be a bittersweet moment to let go of this seemingly shoddy exterior shell...  Right now, it's all I know and all I have.  But until then, ceci est mon corps et je le protéger.