MONO Lessons (Part XI: 209-228)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

209. It’s January 27, 2010, and to be honest, I don’t really think I have mono any more. However, things aren’t back to normal. My appetite is odd, my sleep cycle is odd…I just feel odd. I think I have food allergies that are prolonging everything.

210. Whether I still have mono or not, I keep learning things, so I think I should continue my mono lessons list – both for personal reasons and for the sake of blog entertainment.  In case I don’t actually have mononucleosis (symptoms) any more, MONO Lessons will stand for Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational Lessons.  That’s what these silly lessons really are, anyway. ☺

211. I’m grateful I took Foundations of Analysis…?!?  What?!?

212. Valentine’s Day comes to mind much sooner when it appears you’ll actually have a valentine.

213. 55” of TV is a LOT of TV.

214. There are few things that will keep me up until 4am.  Tennis is one of them.

215. I get extremely offended when my petition is denied.

216. Attraction is SO complicated!  And it dictates our thoughts and feelings about absolutely everyone!

217. I actually can get my blood drawn with out totally freaking out.

218. Just being in the University Hospital makes me extremely happy.

219. Hospital cafeteria food is better than Union food.  And cheaper.  And more healthy.

220. The Green shuttle doesn’t stop at the Union, only Red and Blue do.

221. Atenolol makes being nervous so much more bearable.

222. School is “easier” when unemployed.

223. Alec Woodbury and Allie Wall have the same initials!!!

224. Leaping zombies are the best.

225. There are certain people with whom I should not be alone for an extended period of time. Specifically while school is going.

226. We’re literally writing the next page of our life novel right now; “the rest is still unwritten.”

227. Slaps in the face are rather enlightening for both parties – the slappee and the slapper.

228. I would SO much rather get a free Grand Slam at Denny’s on my 21st birthday than get drunk.

"First Train Home" by Imogen Heap

Here, Imogen Heap summarizes the context of her song "First Train Home." She is giving her description moments before the song's first play on US radio. Remember the part about the party...that will come up again. After it airs for the first time, Immi describes how it feels.

This is the official music video for "First Train Home" with the lyrics provided below.

"First Train Home" - Imogen Heap

Bodies disengaged, our mouths are fleshing over.
It's just an echo game, irises retreating to ovals of white.
The urge to feel your face, and blood rushing to paint my hand print.
A Frisbee one by one; your vinyl on laminate, just prefer some kind of contact.

First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
Got to catch, to catch, to catch-catch, catch.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First Train home

Temporal dead-zone where clocks are barely breathing.
Yet no one cares to notice for all the yelling, all night clamor to hold it together.
I want to play--don't wait--forms in the hideaway
I want to get on with getting on with things
I want to run in fields, paint the kitchen, and love someone
And I can't do any of that here, can I?

First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home.

So what? You've had one too many.
So what? I'm not that much fun to be with.
So what? You've come silly hatter.
So what? I didn't want to come here, anyway.

What matters you, doesn't matter, matter to me.
What matters to me, doesn't matter, matter to you.
What matters to you, doesn't matter, matter to them.
What matters to them, doesn't change anything.

Got to get on it.
First train home.
Got to get on it.
First train home.

First train home I've got to get on it
(I've got to get on it)
Got to catch, to catch, to catch-catch, catch.
(First train home)
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home.
(First train home)
Got to, Got to, Got to, Got to, Get, Get, Get, Get, Out, Out, Out, Out, Now, Now, Now, Now.

---

Now that you have seen the "official" video, take a look at the alternate video called "Imm's Party Version." Remember her mentioning that party in that first clip? Here's what Imogen has to say about this version of the video:

"This is the First Train Home alternative video I directed. I came up with the idea in a cab on the way home late one night and filmed it the next week.

"It's shot in the room I wrote the song in, which is above my studio where I recorded Ellipse. It's me and a load of my friends I borrowed for the day to boss around.
...
"So many of you have been following and getting involved in Ellipse...[that] it felt wrong to do a video that was so impersonal which I felt the original one was. Even a bit cold and detached. This new video won't win any awards but I felt I wanted to make it. Some of the people dancing about have been around me so much during the making of Ellipse.
...
"... Good times. Hope you enjoy it. The odd thing of course is that this is my IDEAL party and not at all the party I was singing about...which I desperately didn't want to be a part of...and got on the first train out of Brighton to get away from it."

Enjoy.

This song is a masterpiece. It is obvious that each millisecond of this track has Imogen's heart and soul in it. Each moment has such meticulous detail. It's simply beautiful from the beginning hints of a railroad to the rather abrupt ending.

By the way, Imogen recently won a Grammy for her album Ellipse. I highly recommend buying it. ;-)  This is one of the best albums I've heard.

Can't wait to see you again tonight, Immi!  You're brilliant!

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today...

I started getting a "cold"...
                                            Which turned into a "sinus infection"...
                                                                                                            Mono the whole time

I'd only had my blood drawn twice in 20 years
I had never regularly broken out in hives
My heart arrhythmia was as common as a Venus transit
All tea tasted like hay
The "Mono Lessons" began to occur but were not yet being documented
"Tired" had a completely different meaning

I had a great job
I had the most incredible coworkers
I was taking my first business trip
We were as strong as ever
We were beginning to truly bond
The end was at least 2 years away
                                                         ...not 6 months

Life wasn't as hemorrhoidy and didn't sting
Life wasn't as bloated
Life wasn't as constipated
But it was a bit...irregular
I ate whatever the hell I wanted
I weighed 170 lbs

I wasn't as experienced
I wasn't as empathetic
I wasn't as forgiving
Lisa hadn't yet changed my life
I wasn't as patient
I wasn't as friendly
I wasn't as mindful

I didn't know I'd be so happy to have the last year behind me

...one year ago today.

Jack Who?

These are two of my favorite paintings by Jack Vettriano.  Why do they intrigue me so?  Because Jack Vettriano's real name is Jack Hoggan!  He's from Scotland, has the "double g" Hoggan last name...so I'm quite confident I'm related to him.  :-)  Enjoy.

The Singing Butler
1992
By Jack Vettriano
Heartbreak Publishing

Dance Me To The End Of Love
1998
By Jack Vettriano
Heartbreak Publishing

Mono Lessons (Part X: 187-208)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

---

187. I have more self-control than I give myself credit for having.

188. I gained my “self-control” from having some pretty crappy experiences.

189. There’s a fine line between “self-control” and extreme hesitation and caution.

190. “I don’t wanna be your other half; I believe that one and one make two.” (from “Not the Doctor” by Alanis Morissette)

191. “[I won’t] let [him] get away with kicking [his] own ass.” (from “Unsent” by Alanis Morissette)

192. I’m not crazy…well, in the sense that I’m not imagining my heart arrhythmia nor am I mistaking another chest activity for the heart arrhythmia. In other words, I have a seasonal heart arrhythmia.

193. Sherri worded this perfectly for me:  “Never argue with an idiot.  All they do is drag you down to their level then beat you with their experience.”

194. Atenolol is a beta-blocker.  I still don’t really understand what a beta-blocker is.  Let alone beta…and why it would need to be blocked.

195. Aliens scare the crap out of me enough when they’re blatantly fake that I am able to put on quite the convincing show when they are presented with a hint of realness.

196. I am apparently rather passionate about aliens.

197. I really do miss some certain people from middle and high school.

198. I don’t fall easily, quickly, willingly, simply, smoothly, comfortably, or patiently.  Good luck, my friend.

199. I enjoy being a psychology test subject probably more than I should…

200. Denny’s has a TOTALLY different menu before 10pm!  It’s huge!

201. Propositions from straight guys are tempting, but not when the straight guy is creepy.

202. Blog formatting takes way too much effort sometimes.

203. Seriously, zombies are funny.

204. No one else is online at 3:30 AM.  Why did I not learn this sooner?  Like in the 40’s or 50’s sections of the mono lessons?

205. Nothing beats IMAX 3D.

206. One-paragraph summaries of an all-over-the-place lecture are rather difficult.

207. Follow my gut…  I already know this, I just need to remind myself.

208. It’s really weird to be taking The Psychology of Love when starting a new relationship…

Wishes: A Letter

Wishes: A Letter

When my hair was still bull cut
I stood with the horses
Feeding them apples and cherries.
You rocked on the porch wishing—
Wishing it would never end.

But at seven, my mind grew
     And yours faded.
Age is setting in and I wish—
Wish I could turn back time.

You stayed strong-no pain-
     Only courage.
It is so hard to watch this process
And I wish—
Wish it would not claim more.

As eleven rolls by, hope has changed.
Hope of life turns to hope of freedom
     From the sickened body and mind.
As we kneel around your bed
     We pray for your comfort and release
And wish—
Wish we could see grandpa again too.

Now much has passed and we’ve all come to terms
     That you are gone.
But memories give life—
Hope gives life—
Love
        gives
                 life!
I can’t wait for the day when I need wish—
Need wish no more.

(Written in May/June 2006)

Inspired by Ezra Pound's "The River-Merchant's Wife: A Letter"