Your Custom Text Here
You Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Some of you may find this sarcastic and rude, some of you may find this loving and sincere. You're all correct...it's everything, but I certainly have no intention to offend. Sure, there is a slight "airing of grievances" feel, but it's just a jumble of my thoughts.
You find out who your friends are when they visit you regularly,
When they support you at your job by SPENDING MONEY to see your work's latest play or attraction,
When they don't complain about the price of your work's shows or admission,
When they don't ask you if they can get in for free or for a discount,
When they know your job title,
When they know what your actual job duties are (If you spend the time explaining them, that is.),
When they know your major,
When they know your minor...s,
When they come to Europe with you,
When they do all they can to go to Europe with you but just plain can't go,
When they stab you in the back,
When they leave and never come back,
When they leave without saying goodbye,
When they tell you all the things you do that drive them absolutely insane but let you do them anyway because it doesn't really matter,
When they won't tell you what's bugging them and keep it all inside until they either fade away or blow up in your face,
When they say "I love you,"
When they say "I hate you,"
When they call you a fag,
When they call you a bitch (or betch),
When they like your boyfriend so much they can hang out together without you,
When they put on a gas mask for you,
When they make a fool of themselves in front of you,
When they let you vent about your frustrations with the LDS Church and just say "I know! I'm so sorry! It sucks!" rather than starting a fruitless debate,
When they accept a present from you,
When they fail to accept a present from you,
When they give you a present,
And when they ask you what you'd like for a present so you receive something you'd actually like to have.
10 Down, 1 To Go - Thank You!
I'm graduating from college in May. On May 4, 2012, to be exact, but who's really keeping track? Then I'm leaving my job and running away to Europe for a month. Sounds amazing and you're extremely jealous of me, right???
Anyway...
First, I want to take a moment to reflect on the past 5 years of my college life and publicly acknowledge some family, friends, and coworkers who have continually supported me and helped me survive.
Mom and Dad: What troopers. From my giddy freshman excitement, to my mono year and kidney stone, to the impending senioritis, thank you for always being there to hear me rant, rave, complain, scream, cry, bitch, and cry some more at all hours of the day or night. Thank you for letting...no...encouraging me to be me. Thank you for listening to me nerd out like I do. Thank you for being interested in me, my school, my work, my coworkers, and my friends.
Stacie and Anita: I couldn't have asked for more amazing coworkers. I still feel so lucky and blessed that I had the opportunity to work with both of you. Not many people get the chance to do what we did. And at my young age, I am so thankful I was able to do it with you. Thank you for being great coworkers, mentors, and most of all, my friends. I love you both dearly!
Stacie, Me, and Anita: The UTemps Team
Katie: Thank you for putting up with my and Ryan's Canada jokes. Thank you for choosing me (you know what I'm talking about...haha). Thank you for helping to keep us in contact and organizing lunches and dinners. Thank you for always being there to talk to and for never judging me. You are one of the sweetest people I know and I absolutely love you!
Moi et Katie
Ryan: Thank you for making nerdiness so sexy. Thank you for your eye contact. Thank you for being an amazing study buddy. Thank you for all of the intellectual conversations about gender, sexuality, religion, and everything else both physics-y and non-physics-y. I miss you!
Jessica: You are absolutely the best lab partner anyone could ask for! Thank you for always being on the same crazy wavelength as me, even though it's not actually you're choice and in reality you're just as crazy as me. Thank you for taking Lisa's class with me - that was an amazing experience to share with you. Thank you for being so freaking funny. I love you!
Allie and Lindsey: Thank you for putting up with mono me. Thank you for the Denny's nights. Thank you for the laughing attacks. Thank you for Disneyland. Thank you for the cabin, which was exactly like Disneyland, only completely different. Thank you for being amazing friends! Oh, and Lindsey...EUROPE!
DISNEYLAND!!!
Diane: Thank you for taking a "risk" and hiring a physics major. Thank you for your infinite flexibility around my health and school. I would never have guessed I'd work in a theatre...but I have absolutely loved it!
Now that I got the sappy part out of the way, let's talk about what I've accomplished here and why I deserve this degree. (It's tough to tell if I'm doing this to help ward off senioritis and keep me motivated or if I'm just trying to impress all of you.) I'm a super nerd, so I've obviously kept track of every class I've taken over the past 5 years. And here they are with my (sometimes witty) comments!!!
Freshman Year `07 -`08
Allie, me, and Barbara "Poochigian-ing It Up"
Classical Civilizations 1550: Classical Mythology
Poochigian. Enough said.
Educational Psychology 2600: Strategies for College Success
Taking AP classes in high school made this class borderline useless...
Mathematics 2210: Calculus III
It's like calculus I and II, only in THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!
Writing 2010: Intermediate Writing
Katy Savage, how I love you. You and I clicked when it came to humor. Thank you for encouraging me to write!
Art 2060: Non-Major Digital Photography
I, mister science, got an A- in an art class. Hell yes! I'll take it. Digital Photography: Art for Scientists. I also must give this class credit for introducing me to Richard Avedon and his portrait of Marilyn Monroe. You may have heard I enjoy this photograph.
Mathematics 2270: Linear Algebra
Horrible class. Horrible teacher. Katie flirted for her grade. Admit it.
Physics 1980: Undergraduate Seminar II
They made me take it...
Physics 2215: Physics Lab I for Scientists and Engineers
Per...rwrwrwwrrw...iod. That means "period" in Asian.
Physics 3210: Physics for Scientists I
Ugh...I don't wanna talk about it.
Summer `08
Mathematics 2280: Introduction to Differential Equations
Gray is usually a bad choice...especially if you're overweight and it's the middle of summer in Utah...if you catch my drift.
Sophomore Year `08 -`09
Mathematics 3210: Foundations of Analysis I
Even though we only spent one day in the Naval Sciences building with no AC, I now know how Italian students feel when they're in class sweating like an Italian fountain and have an Italian man saying math at them.
Physics 1970: Undergraduate Seminar I
You guessed it, they made me take this too...
Physics 2225: Physics Lab II for Scientists and Engineers
Ming Dynasty. At least I think it was Ming...
Physics 3220: Physics for Scientists II
I don't wanna talk about this either.
Political Science 1100: United States National Government
My county is blue...
I felt that needed to be brought to attention.
The only reason this class was somewhat interesting is because I took it in Fall 2008: aka, election season.
Mathematics 3220: Foundations of Analysis II
Every review I had read about my professor, Dr. Taylor, (also the author of our "book") was horribly negative. I was terrified of him before I'd even met him. Turns out he was one of the most fair professors I had my entire college career.
Physics 3740: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics and Relativity
Quite possibly the biggest asshole of a professor I had my entire college career.
Physics 3760: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics
I HATE thermodynamics. I also HATE statistical mechanics. At least the professor was nice even though he was sometimes difficult to understand.
Psychology 1010: General Psychology
This was quite the psych overview...thank goodness Kelly was in it with me.
Junior Year `09 -`10
ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
It's amazing how flinging a ball down an oily lane thereby making pins fly and make loud noises is a spectacular stress reliever...even when you're not very good. Thanks for putting up with me, Alec.
Gender Studies 5770: Gender and Sexual Orientation
DYAC
Dr. Lisa Diamond changed my life. I could never thank you enough for all "ah-ha!" moments, self discovery, and self acceptance you inspired in me. YOU literally changed my life; I don't care how cliché I sound!
Mathematics 3150: Partial Differential Equations for Engineers
My professor was a godsend. At the time, I felt like I was dying from mono, so I made a deal with him that I would no longer be doing the homework, but prove to him I knew the material through exams. In short, I got the high on the final. Thank you, Prof. Allison.
Physics 1330: Physics of Audio and Video
Yes, 1330. I took this for the hell of it and I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you.
Physics 3610: Electronics I
I now cringe when I see electronics schematics. I should mention, I ACED the final in this class.
See? Terrifying.
ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
Yep, I took it twice. Wanna make somethin' of it?!
I eventually got my own ball!
Mathematics 3160: Applied Complex Variables
Oddly enough, I think this may have been my favorite math class. It was also my LAST math class... There may or may not be a correlation.
Two of my favorite mathematical cartoon characters
Physics 4910: Technical Communication and Scientific Judgement
This class was so good and so tough. I learned to get comfortable presenting to an audience, that group work is a bitch, and some people say "like" WAY too many times when they're publicly speaking.
Psychology 2800: Psychology of Love
Relationships are so damn complicated!!! Also, it's very strange to be taking this class when beginning a new, albeit poor and pretty damn hopeless, relationship.
Psychology 3000: Statistical Methods in Psychology
Part of me is still angry I had to take this class for a psychology MINOR composed of classes which didn't even require the class as a prerequisite. This would be the definition of a weed-out class. I recommend taking it online if you have some self motivation.
Senior Year I `10 -`11
Art History 3600: The History of Photography
I LOVED this class. I found even more photographs to love almost as much as Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe. I wrote about them a while back. I even posted a paper I wrote for this class - Today I Asked Why.
Nutrition 1020: Scientific Foundations of Nutrition and Health
This class left me thoroughly disappointed in our country.
Physics 3410: Modern Optics I & II
This class had one of the most time consuming labs ever...if you don't count the undergrad lab class.
Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
I withdrew from this class. My life changed this semester...fucking kidney stone.
Physics 3730: Introduction to Computing in Physics
I never want to be a computer programmer.
Physics 5110: Introduction to Particle Physics
This professor takes the prize for the most difficult to understand. Probably not an award of which one should be proud.
Senior Year II `11 -`12
Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
Yeah...this again. Good thing I saved most of the material from last time.
Physics 3719: Undergraduate Laboratory
Thank HEAVEN for Jessica. Oh, and thank you Whitney for explaining "the tone."
Sodium Doublet
H2D2
Physics 5020: Theoretical Electricity and Magnetism and Statistical Mechanics
This is bound to be pretty awful. (It was.)
Psychology 3440: Personality Theory
This is bound to be pretty amazing. (It was.)
So in the end, I deserve it, right? Right.
I'm almost an official physicist!!! Do you know what this means? YOU will know a physicist. Yep, you!
Thank you all!
Love,
Jason
Simple Pleasures
Newly painted street lines (especially on a newly surfaced street).
Freezing cold tap water in the dead of winter.
Slipping into a bed with fresh, clean linen just after a shower.
Staring at your favorite piece of art when no one understands why you love it so much.
Staying up too late reading a textbook that's just too good to put down.
Chips and salsa.
Gay cinema.
Marilyn Monroe.
World.
Depression, Anxiety, Love...and Other Drugs
*tap*tap*tap*
I can't write.
Why?
Well, the title pretty much explains it all. It's also not vague in any way.
Okay, maybe it's a little vague considering I kind of copied a movie title a little tiny bit.
I have depression and anxiety. Both are likely inherited (thanks, parents). I have always been a rather anxious person. I figure a large portion of my anxiety was actually learned and conditioned considering I grew up "different" and Mormon. To say the least, that calls for a lot of nervous times.
Of course I have also been depressed at times...even suicidal. But this time it's different.
Miserable Emptiness
There's no foundation to the sadness. I feel an emptiness I believe could never be reconciled. A void that could absolutely never be filled. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to move. I don't want to talk. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to sleep. If I sleep, I have to eventually wake up and...and...do something. I don't want to see my friends. I don't want to see my boyfriend. I don't want to see my family. It makes me sick.
I want to quit school. I want to quit my job...s. I want to quit. I don't necessarily want to die, but I want to hurt myself so I can prove to you all how sick I am. So I can prove to you how much I need to quit school...to quit my jobs...s.
I want to run away. Running away will fix everything. It will fix nothing.
I'm in love. It's weird to be in love for the first time and also be extremely depressed. And then to be taking an antidepressant that increases your anxiety five-fold. I'm in love. Why now? What bizarre timing.
I want to run away...with him. That will fix everything. It will fix nothing.
I can't write.
I'm afraid to write.
I'm afraid to tell you what is going on with me.
I'm again afraid of being judged and having even more stereotypes hurled at me.
I want to run away. I'll run until the pills, pills, and more pills kick in and fix everything. They'll fix nothing.
They won't fix me.
They won't fix my family.
They won't fix the business.
They won't fix my boyfriend.
They won't fix my relationship with him either.
I guess I have to participate too.
I want to run away. I want to hide until I have the energy to help the pills.
They're so demanding of me.
MONO Lessons (Part XVII: 343 - 365)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
343. Surprisingly, Lagoon is actually more fun picnic-style.
344. I miss her.
345. Even when I thought it couldn’t be done, they hurt me even more than they already had.
346. This must be what “I think I’m falling in love” feels like.
347. My past feels like someone else’s life.
348. Nutrition in this country is deplorable.
349. The Food Pyramid changed since I was in elementary school and nobody told me.
350. Another thing nobody ever told me: You’re supposed to poop at least once a day! This makes me unbelievably angry. Why did nobody ever tell me this?!
351. Life is better when you’re regular.
352. When you’ve got momentum, ride it. Ride it hard.
353. Photoshop CS2 is very…manual. It’s like driving a stick shift. I’ve never driven a stick shift, but I assume they are similar to Photoshop CS2…only completely different.
354. Wendover is like the cabin…only completely different.
355. Lagoon + Cabin + Swollen Glands + School Starting = Kidney Stone + 10(PAIN)
356. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between someone giving you a look of disgust and checking you out.
357. Low potassium increases one’s risk of kidney stones. Why the HELL did nobody mention this to me? I read this in my nutrition 1020 book. 1020. You know what 1020 means? Easy. What is wrong with our healthcare system?!?
358. Hard decisions are hard.
359. When the momentum is against you, sometimes you can’t keep fighting it any more.
360. I wear my emotions on my sleeve…and my face.
361. I wouldn't do it again, but I would NEVER take it back.
362. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. It’s overwhelming and a bit frightening.
363. A 'W' is better than not passing due to exhaustion.
364. Every time I read my nutrition book, I become more furious towards society and healthcare.
365. I’m not the only gurgler.
The Year of Immunotherapy?
Please let this year be better. I'm so tired. I haven't felt well since May of 2008 and I'm tired of trying. But apparently not tired enough to quit.
Westminster, Colorado.
A "cold"
Turns into a "sinus infection."
Bactrim, Ceftin, Azithromycin, Augmenton.
Hives.
Epic hives.
Again
And again.
Turns out it was mono.
Quite the misdiagnosis
Duh.
School starts in 4 days.
Semester from hell.
ER visit.
Finally confronting my heart arrhythmia.
Miracle semester.
Not feeling better;
In fact, feeling worse.
Quit my job of 2.5 years.
Goodbye to the best coworkers on earth.
Time to focus on health and school.
Turns out I'm gluten intolerant.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Feeling slightly better.
Disneyland.
Feeling quite a bit better.
Lagoon.
Cabin.
Something's not right.
School starts.
Worst pain ever.
ER visit.
Kidney stone.
Nausea, pain, lortab, and flomax.
And lortab...did I mention the lortab?
School...
Work...
W...
Feels like mono again
Only it isn't.
What a relief!
Wait, then what is it?
I'm allergic to this valley.
Is immunotherapy my next solution?
MONO Lessons (Part XIV: 271- 299)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
271. I think someone has ADD…
272. Almond Breeze is my favorite milk replacement. Mmmm
273. They make butters other than peanut butter.
274. Oats are a major topic of conversation. Especially among Celiacs.
275. Immune systems are actually supposed to stop a cold from taking over your body. Mine did that for the first time in years! Hooray!
276. The Stanford Prison Experiment. Ryan and I rocked this thing.
277. Gluten antibodies attack and chop down the villi in my small intestines. Lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, is created in the tip of the villi. Hence, I will seem “lactose intolerant” until my villi grow back.
278. “Wheat-free” does NOT infer “gluten-free.”
279. Blogging is like a disease. A rather contagious disease.
280. I’m a gatekeeper.
281. I live my life as an oxymoron. I love oxymorons and paradoxes.
282. Mayonnaise is evil. Of the devil, if you will.
283. I am eternally grateful for my past. Without it, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
284. I am infinitely relieved to have made it through the reconciliation brawl physically alive, psychologically intact, mentally resilient, and spiritually affirmed.
285. “He’s not cute enough to be gay!” – SH. I then burst out laughing.
286. Late at night, even regular humans can suddenly become cute, cuddly zombies.
287. I attached to UTemps like it was a person…
288. These tremendously complex bodies are bound to have a few minor errors.
289. Slumdog Millionaire is simply unbelievable and moves me in a way no movie ever has.
290. Really. It’s not me! It’s everybody else…. Trust me.
291. It’s not fair. And that will continue to resonate in my mind. It’s simply not fair.
292. Outback is a GF Mecca. P.F. Chang's can be Mecca #2.
293. I think about them every single day…
294. “When in doubt, leave it out.” – Danna Korn from Living Gluten-Free for Dummies
295. Gluten could be the answer behind everything.
296. Some servers can really surprise me with their gluten-free skill and memory. Really, though, he should have written it all down…I’m complicated.
297. I will meet my soul mate at Whole Foods. I’m convinced. See “Aaron the Whole Foods Boy."
298. Windows 7 doesn’t like power outages.
299. That said, F6 is the secret, magical, earth-saving button.
MONO Lessons (Part XII: 229-245)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
229. I am allergic/intolerant/sensitive to:
a. Bean, Green (+1)
b. Bean, Kidney (+2)
c. Bean, Navy (+1)
d. Bean, Pinto (+1)
e. Bean, Yellow Wax (+1)
f. Beans, apparently…however, not Lima, unfortunately
g. Cheese (+2)
h. Egg (+2)
i. Egg-white (+2)
ii. Egg-yolk (+2)
i. Milk, Cow’s (+1)
i. Casein (+3)
ii. Whey – LF (+1)
iii. In other words, everything dairy.
j. Pineapple (+1)
k. Pumpkin (+1)
l. Rye (+1)
m. Tomato (+1)
n. Wheat (+3)
i. Gluten (52 units)
o. Yeast, Baker’s (+1)
p. Yeast, Brewer’s (+2)
q. Zucchini (+1)
230. The Mexican food I thought was saving my life because it’s the only thing I could get down…yeah…slowly killing me: Pinto Beans, Cheese, Sour Cream, Tortilla, Tomato Salsa… My mono nausea cure only made me sicker.
231. A simple, sincere “I’m sorry” can go a LONG way…
232. Restaurants have gluten-free menus!
233. Gluten is in everything.
234. A “positive” gluten sensitivity test is like a positive pregnancy test – you can’t be kind of pregnant and you can’t be kind of sensitive. You are.
235. I’m bitter about gluten.
236. Lesson #228 is no longer valid. I actually think I would feel worse having a Grand Slam than if I got drunk…ha.
237. I really don’t have very good gaydar. I need to accept this fact of life.
238. I still get shocked every time someone comes out to me. Haha.
239. MLIA is hilarious. TFLN is rather hilarious, but the sex and drugs can get old rather quickly. FML is just depressing.
240. “Appetite is the best seasoning.” – Jessica Johnston
241. “The moral of the story is: Don’t drink, or your clone will be murdered.” – Jessica Johnston
242. “Life takes a lifetime.” (from “Naturally” by Lisa Donnelly)
243. We don’t do physics. Physics does us.
244. IgG anti-gliadin antibodies have a half-life of 120 days.
245. With an IgG score of 52 units, after 4 months of gluten-freeness, I will be near 26 units; 8 months I will be near 13 units; and 12 months, I will be near 7 units (below 10 is normal, 3 is average). Hence, 1 year of recovery ahead. It could be worse.
MONO Lessons (Part XI: 209-228)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
209. It’s January 27, 2010, and to be honest, I don’t really think I have mono any more. However, things aren’t back to normal. My appetite is odd, my sleep cycle is odd…I just feel odd. I think I have food allergies that are prolonging everything.
210. Whether I still have mono or not, I keep learning things, so I think I should continue my mono lessons list – both for personal reasons and for the sake of blog entertainment. In case I don’t actually have mononucleosis (symptoms) any more, MONO Lessons will stand for Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational Lessons. That’s what these silly lessons really are, anyway. ☺
211. I’m grateful I took Foundations of Analysis…?!? What?!?
212. Valentine’s Day comes to mind much sooner when it appears you’ll actually have a valentine.
213. 55” of TV is a LOT of TV.
214. There are few things that will keep me up until 4am. Tennis is one of them.
215. I get extremely offended when my petition is denied.
216. Attraction is SO complicated! And it dictates our thoughts and feelings about absolutely everyone!
217. I actually can get my blood drawn with out totally freaking out.
218. Just being in the University Hospital makes me extremely happy.
219. Hospital cafeteria food is better than Union food. And cheaper. And more healthy.
220. The Green shuttle doesn’t stop at the Union, only Red and Blue do.
221. Atenolol makes being nervous so much more bearable.
222. School is “easier” when unemployed.
223. Alec Woodbury and Allie Wall have the same initials!!!
224. Leaping zombies are the best.
225. There are certain people with whom I should not be alone for an extended period of time. Specifically while school is going.
226. We’re literally writing the next page of our life novel right now; “the rest is still unwritten.”
227. Slaps in the face are rather enlightening for both parties – the slappee and the slapper.
228. I would SO much rather get a free Grand Slam at Denny’s on my 21st birthday than get drunk.
Mono Lessons (Part X: 187-208)
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.
187. I have more self-control than I give myself credit for having.
188. I gained my “self-control” from having some pretty crappy experiences.
189. There’s a fine line between “self-control” and extreme hesitation and caution.
190. “I don’t wanna be your other half; I believe that one and one make two.” (from “Not the Doctor” by Alanis Morissette)
191. “[I won’t] let [him] get away with kicking [his] own ass.” (from “Unsent” by Alanis Morissette)
192. I’m not crazy…well, in the sense that I’m not imagining my heart arrhythmia nor am I mistaking another chest activity for the heart arrhythmia. In other words, I have a seasonal heart arrhythmia.
193. Sherri worded this perfectly for me: “Never argue with an idiot. All they do is drag you down to their level then beat you with their experience.”
194. Atenolol is a beta-blocker. I still don’t really understand what a beta-blocker is. Let alone beta…and why it would need to be blocked.
195. Aliens scare the crap out of me enough when they’re blatantly fake that I am able to put on quite the convincing show when they are presented with a hint of realness.
196. I am apparently rather passionate about aliens.
197. I really do miss some certain people from middle and high school.
198. I don’t fall easily, quickly, willingly, simply, smoothly, comfortably, or patiently. Good luck, my friend.
199. I enjoy being a psychology test subject probably more than I should…
200. Denny’s has a TOTALLY different menu before 10pm! It’s huge!
201. Propositions from straight guys are tempting, but not when the straight guy is creepy.
202. Blog formatting takes way too much effort sometimes.
203. Seriously, zombies are funny.
204. No one else is online at 3:30 AM. Why did I not learn this sooner? Like in the 40’s or 50’s sections of the mono lessons?
205. Nothing beats IMAX 3D.
206. One-paragraph summaries of an all-over-the-place lecture are rather difficult.
207. Follow my gut… I already know this, I just need to remind myself.
208. It’s really weird to be taking The Psychology of Love when starting a new relationship…
Mono Lessons (Part VIII: 141-165)
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.
141. Campfire-giraffe-merhhh nights are the best.
142. First meetings are always awkward. I don’t care how comfortable you think you are with someone, it’s still awkward that first time.
143. I performed quite well on my PDE tests considering I quit doing the homework halfway through the course. The mono excuse helped me out on that one…
144. I love and admire Stacie and Anita.
145. The only hope UTemps has is in our departure. No longer having stake in the Program, we can lay it all out there as we leave.
146. Change is the only constant.
147. It’s too little too late.
148. Miracles continue to happen.
149. There’s something to this “power of attraction.”
150. Some people truly do have empathy and show it in ways that are the most helpful at the time.
151. Grade miracles continue to happen.
152. I allocate and work with my “time” a lot differently than I used to.
153. Television contentment can be found solely through Hulu…and CBS.com since they’re chumps and don’t post their shows to Hulu.
154. Timing is everything.
155. “Boffin” is British slang for “scientist,” NOT “homosexual.”
156. Mexican food is the only constant.
157. I “may be gay, but [I’m] not ‘RENT gay.’”
158. I may be nerdy, but I’m not “pocket protector nerdy.”
159. Zombies are hilarious and even cuddly.
160. My friends are freaks. My favorite freaks ever. ☺
161. Mono makes me eat like a pregnant woman at Denny’s.
162. I prefer my sushi in rolls.
163. Shockingly enough, not everything orange tastes good. That caviar was the most beautiful shade of orange………
164. I’m uber uncoordinated with chopsticks. And I throw them when I’ve just had enough of their nonsense.
165. It takes a lot of energy to stay “on” when meeting bunches of new people.
Mono Lessons (Part VII: 121-140)
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.
121. I’m picky.
122. I can pop 34 individual joints plus my neck and back. Ha.
123. My multi-vitamin doesn’t have potassium in it.
124. Some things need my attention more than others.
125. Gay marriage might not be the best solution… Didn’t think I’d say that, did ya?
126. Patience: I don’t have a lot…so I’ve sure had a lot to gain.
127. Downtown Denny’s has a VERY different crowd than our local Cottonwood Heights Denny’s at 1am.
128. This place is full of fuckheads. Pardon me.
129. I give SLCC a lot of (somewhat undeserved) crap. However, there does exist an even less respectable school to attend. I’ll refrain from naming it right now…. Care to guess what it is? No, not BYU....
130. A fast-dripping IV creates one of the strangest internal sensations I’ve ever felt.
131. When 4 people are tag teaming you in an ER room, it’s easier to ignore the fact that at least five vials of blood are being drawn from your arm.
132. December 14, 2009 at approximately 10:15pm: the exact moment I forgave Michael and myself for everything regarding that experience...and then some. Took me 2.5 years. Yes!!!
133. Even if I’m not proud of my past, I need to take responsibility and ownership of it. It makes me who I am today.
134. “Reparative” therapy may not be the devil’s work as I once thought. My own attempt at self-“reparative” therapy was anything but fun and/or successful, but again, the experience helped make me the secure person I am today. How can I deny someone that experience?
135. My reaction to “reparative” therapy is like that of a parent watching their child go through an experience they wish they didn’t have to watch. The kind of experience the parent wishes their child could learn without having to actually experience the experience. But unfortunately, most people only truly learn what they need to by going through those intense experiences.
136. Forgiveness is one of the hardest tasks to accomplish. It is also one of the most relieving and worthwhile things to accomplish.
137. Forgiveness can take for.e.ver.
138. You definitely can’t always trust your doctor. Question everything.
139. The changes I have been waiting for are actually happening. I don’t like it.
140. A certain someone is more than incompetent, they’re an asshole too.
21 Years Worth of Gluten
I'm 21 today.
What does that mean?
Renewing driver license.
A new driver license picture.
One year closer to getting own insurance.
Andrew Legend is 19 and somehow still running...for now.
No cake or pie. They all have gluten and/or dairy in them.
21+ concert venues and no missing Missy, Pat, or LeAnn any more.
5 leap-days have made my birthday feel one day late.
Only one other person exists with this same birthday.
(Happy birthday to her!)
Checking in to any hotel.
21 years worth of gluten.
Gambling tuition money away.
One year closer to renting a car.
Most of that 21st year was spent ill.
Could have been legally smoking for 2 years.
Could have been getting back from my mission soon. Ha.
Now an adult. Whatever the hell that means.
2.5 years left of undergraduateness.
March 1st has yet again snuck up on us all.
February is still shorter than all the other months.
Escaped from high school 3 years ago.
"Jase" was renounced 13 years ago.
All that is wanted...needed...is birthday cash.
Regular multivitamin and supplement schedule.
Legal porn viewing in all 50 states.
No longer in the limbo of 20.
13 years of being LeAnn's #1 fan.
5 LeAnn Rimes concerts...ready for 50 more.
6 down, 1 to go. Alanis...come on. I'm waiting.
"Out" (whatever that means) for 3 years and 3 months. Wow.
Lucky number 7's chance has officially arrived.
A consistent pattern of facial hair can be kept.
I get to read my seminary letters.
Adult, horizontally oriented driver license.
Oh yeah...
And I guess I can now legally drink, huh?
Fun.
Puns Make Me Smile
I love funny, nerdy, punny puns. :-)
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21.. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects
Lucky Bamboo
I made this today.
Lucky Bamboo with 6 Stalks
I love Lucky Bamboo. We've had bamboo in the house for years now and I just love to arrange it.
Specific numbers of lucky bamboo stalks in a pot are supposed to bring luck to certain areas of your life.
- 1 stalk: Simplicity and a meaningful life.
- 2 stalks: Double luck, happy relationships
- 3 stalks: Good for prosperity and fertility. If used with curly (money) stalk in the middle, it means wealth.
- 4 stalks: Academic achievement, creativity, writing, romance
- 5 stalks: Happiness, good and balanced luck in all aspects of life.
- 6 stalks: Easy money, wealth, good flow of luck. Six in the Chinese language also sounds like the word luck.
- 7 stalks: Good luck and prosperity in relationships.
- 8 stalks: Good luck and fertility.
- 9 stalks: Good health, prosperity, and love life.
- 10 stalks: Completeness and fulfillment in life.
- 11 stalks: Good all-around luck.
The one above has 6 stalks. I don't really build them based on the stalk number meaning - just what looks nice.
Blogging
I think I'm going to start writing a blog. How cliche.
I've gone through a lot the past while and I hear my life story is rather interesting, so I think I'll share it here. I don't want to treat this as a boring journal, but most of what I'll write about is based on personal experience. My goal is to write my hilarious, tragic, and thinky observations about life - hopefully I kept that vague enough to write almost anything I want!
Here are some blogging ideas I have for the near future:
1. "Mono Lessons" - For those of you who don't know (somehow), I have had mono since June 2009. Anyway, for a majority of that time, I have been keeping a list of things I have learned while dealing with mono and because of having mono. The list is LONG (150 lessons so far), so I'll post it in increments. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll thank God you don't have mono.
2. School - My last two semesters of college have been unbelievably hard and miraculous. You'll read in awe.
3. Work - I quit my job... My last day is January 8, 2010. I have a LOT of stuff to say about wretched place we call HR.
4. Gay stuff - Again, for those of you that don't know, I'm gay. Yahoo. Anyway, I go through activist moments, so I will recall stuff from the past, write some new stuff, and most likely talk about a class I took last semester called Gender & Sexual Orientation from Dr. Lisa Diamond. (Best class I've ever taken, by the way.) I'll also share snippets of my "coming out" saga and any drama that still continues today.
I'm thinking I'll post a new blog once a week or so. These topics should keep me going for a few months. Always feel free to comment, ask questions, request topics, anything!
I look forward to freeing my mind all over you! Happy reading!
Jason