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Today I Asked Why
I wrote this story as a paper for my History of Photography class (ARTH 3600) in September 2010.
Writing dialogue is something I am not accustomed to. There were voices in my head...each with distinct personalities. The photographers in the conversation you are about to read are Timothy O'Sullivan, H.P. Robinson, and Julia Margaret Cameron.
Today I Asked Why
“I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” I loudly mutter as I run through the door to my café. I like to call it “my” café because the actual owner let me decorate the south wall with whatever I wanted. I don’t know…it makes it feel like mine. I chose nothing fancy, nothing too extravagant. This large wall has one single photograph. I dare say this photograph is the best portrait ever taken. But that’s just my humble opinion. The image enshrined on the south wall is none other than Richard Avedon’s Marilyn Monroe.
Beautiful, isn’t it? Isn’t she? The rawness in her posture and facial expression is rare enough to view in person, let alone capture in a photograph… Anyway, as I mentioned, I was late for work. As I ran inside, the opaque cloudy sky released itself and, in a heartbeat, it was pouring. As I stood in the doorway, I could already sense my boss wasn’t even upset I was late. Why? Because he knows what a downpour means: customers! A café is prime refuge from a deluge. I unexpectedly get nudged from behind. I turn around to see a dozen people under the awning wishing to get inside. I step out of the way as the customers quickly trickle inside.
Being the lowly busboy, I rush around the café gathering empty glasses, mugs, plates, and bowls, clearing room for our new wet customers. Once everyone was settled and we began to get a handle on things, I glanced to the south wall and smiled at Marilyn. Sitting at the table immediately across from her was an unusual trio of regular customers. I didn’t notice them come in with the thunderstorm rush…were they here before I arrived? Front row seat or not, they always watch Marilyn from wherever they lounge. Today I asked why.
“Why? Why?!?” the woman jokingly jeers back at me. “Because it’s so beautiful, so soft, so…haunting! It’s simply stunning!”
“I honestly don’t understand why you two like this picture so much,” the older gentleman interjects. “It’s just another plain picture of Marilyn Monroe. There are thousands of them and this one is no different. It’s not even artistic!” At this, the woman flushes an impatient shade of red but continues to sit and listen. The man continues, “Avedon just snapped this picture and did nothing to it – not one dodge, not a single trick, and not a thought of conjuration. A child could do that!”
The younger man lightheartedly steps in, “What is a ‘conjuration’ anyway?” The three of them laugh as the younger man looks back at me and says, “I’m Timothy, by the way.” He points to the other two and introduces them as Julia and H.P. I introduce myself as I grab a chair to sit with them. “Don’t let me interrupt,” I say. “This was just getting exciting!”
Julia draws us back into the conversation by asking H.P., “What would need to be different for you to accept this as a piece of art?”
“Oh, so many things!” he replies. “First, the picture should have been taken with her looking more cheerful and less awkward. Photography should elevate the subject and avoid such awkward forms.”
“But,” interjects Timothy, “that’s why I find this portrait to be so striking! Her ‘awkwardness’ makes this portrait different from her others. I haven’t taken many portraits myself, but I know a good one when I see one. Unfortunately, I instead know war. And I know how to capture it in a way to convey its horror and lack of glamour. My goal was never to romanticize such atrocities. I wanted to show the world the death and dread it produces. Avedon took a picture of a devastated battlefield here! Marilyn looks like a mess compared to the thousands of glamorous shots we typically see of her. Marilyn Monroe was a bombshell in so many ways and Avedon captured her post-detonation.”
Timothy’s passion causes the rest of us to sit in silent awe for a moment. Julia then slowly and softly breaks the silence saying, “As I’ve been listening,” her tone becoming more delighted, “I noticed how perfectly the sharpness of her face is balanced with the softness of everything else. You two would probably call the soft glow ‘out of focus.’ But what is focus – and who has a right to say what focus is the legitimate focus?”
H.P. jumps at this comment and says, “The blurriness of her torso would make it impossible to even use in a combination print. Much more planning and thought would have to be put into this portrait to make it useful in my art photography.”
“Planning and thought?” Timothy questions. “Words spoken by a man who photographs solely in his studio! When you’re out in the field documenting war or landscape, you record precisely what you see through the ground glass and do absolutely nothing to alter it.”
“I don’t alter the photographs, Timothy,” H.P. calmly rebuts, “I combine them. I am following the encouragement to ‘not merely amuse, but to instruct, purify, and ennoble’ with my art photography. I will admit, with the world now knowing Marilyn’s rather tragic story, this image could certainly be used in an allegory to educate the public. I just believe, for a portrait to be considered art, the ‘artist’ needs to have more involvement than simply pressing a button.”
“Allegories can be done without combination printing, you know,” says Julia. “You’ve seen my allegories. Yes, I did pose them, but I posed everything at once for a single photograph as to avoid combination printing. I find the printing process for a single photograph to be laborious enough... Printing from multiple negatives simultaneously would drive me bonkers! H.P., you said this portrait could possibly be used in an allegory. In my opinion, this portrait of Marilyn is an allegory on its own, combining my two favorite styles of art photography – portrait and allegory. However, Avedon didn’t pose her. It was completely unplanned. This singular moment could never be planned out in a studio for a combination print.”
“Exactly,” confirms Timothy. “Avedon’s Marilyn Monroe combines the real and the ideal, sacrificing nothing of Truth. So let us take it for what it is rather than trying to reinvent it. I really have to agree with Julia here…”
“I wouldn’t have expected any different, Timothy,” says H.P. with a smirk on his face. After a short pause, H.P. looks me in the eye and asks, “So, what do you think?”
“Me?” I hesitantly reply. “Well…um…I’m a little biased toward this photograph…”
Timothy laughs saying, “You think you’re biased? You’ve been listening to the conversation, haven’t you?”
Many ideas and quotations were borrowed from Beaumont Newhall’s The History of Photography, pages 73-78. Though they are not explicitly cited, most of the quotes and ideas are recognizable from class discussion alone.
"Time Is All Around" by Regina Spektor
This is one of my favorite Regina Spektor songs. The remarkable visuals in the chorus are by far my favorite part. Lyrics provided below.
"Time Is All Around" - Regina Spektor
You step on all my parts
And then you walk right out the door
And I know that your love ain't never
Coming back no more
Time is all around
Except inside my clock
Everybody's waiting for their lover to unlock
Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up
Time is all around
Time is all around
I hallucinate a cat between my feet
I'm stepping lightly so as not to hurt it
Everybody wants
To say that you have changed
Of course you've changed, you've changed, you've changed
Your mind's been rearrange
But leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up
Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up
Why am I supposed to love if I don't want to love?
Why am I supposed to, I'm so tired
Why am I supposed to love if I don't want to?
I don't want
I don't want to
I don't want
Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up
Leaves become most beautiful when they're about to die
When they're about to fall from trees
When they're about to dry up
!["Three Cheers for Five Years [Acoustic]" by Mayday Parade](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58d218e1e4fcb57fb4c3a8c8/1490842988008-TKZ54JI22MLZ7I7V7DFX/Punk_goes_acoustic_2.gif)
"Three Cheers for Five Years [Acoustic]" by Mayday Parade
I call this my first punk song...even thought it's the acoustic version of a punk song making it not really punk...and even though Mayday Parade's punkness is sometimes debatable. Anyway, that said, "Three Cheers for Five Years" is on Punk Goes Acoustic 2, and, not being a punk fan before this, I consider it punk. :-)
I think this song is simply breathtaking with its incredible harmonies. I hope you've got some spare time on your hands because it's rather lengthy, but it's worth it. If you're interested in listening to the original version, here is a LINK. In the meantime, here is the acoustic version with lyrics provided below.
"Three Cheers for Five Years" - Mayday Parade
I swear that you don't have to go, I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms and spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)
Too late, I'm sure, and lonely
'Cause it's another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me,
In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same
I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
Moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across your key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us, not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I give my heart as an offering (as an offering)
Too late, I'm sure, and lonely
It's just another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me,
In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same...
And I... Will always... Remember you as you are right now to me
And I... Will always... Remember you now, remember you now...
Oh...
So sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight
And how does he feel? And how does he kiss?
And how does he taste while he's on your lips?
How does he feel? How does he kiss?
(And sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)
And I can't forget you
I know that you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over, don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you
(And sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)
(And sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)
I know you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you, I want to.
"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor
This is my favorite music video ever! Regina is the best! This is also, by far, the best song about prostitution.
"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor
You-ou-ou-ou-ou a-a-a-a-a-are
So-o-o-o-o sw-ee-ee-ee-ee-eet
Da-a-a-a-an-ci-i-i-ing to that
Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eat
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and the girls watch each other eat
You are so sweet, so sweet
Dancing and moving to that beat, that beat
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
The boys and the girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
You are so sweet.
(Once more)
You are so sweet
(Solo)
[Regina's Piano Solo]
I went walking through this city
Like a drunk, but not
With my slip showing a little
Like a drunk, but not
And I am one of your people
But the cars don't stop
And I am one of your people
But the cars don't stop
It's been a long time since before I've been touched
Now I'm getting touched all the time
And it's only a matter of whom
And it's only a matter of when
An addiction to hands and feet
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other sleep
An addiction to hands and feet
There's a meat market down the street
The boys and girls watch each other eat
When they really just wanna watch each other
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
They want to watch, to watch each other
Sleep, sleep, sleep
"My Humps" by Alanis Morissette (Black Eyed Peas Cover)
Hilarious. Yes, I know I'm a dork for loving this. You are too. (I apologize if you see a commercial at the beginning of this. Finding a good quality video of this hilariousness was far too difficult.)
Here's the Black Eyed Peas original version:
It's really a tossup as to which one is better, huh?
!["So Unsexy [Vancouver Sessions 2004]" by Alanis Morissette](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58d218e1e4fcb57fb4c3a8c8/1490756364025-P70NZJ8BGFU05CA2Q6IM/alg_alanis-morissette.jpg)
"So Unsexy [Vancouver Sessions 2004]" by Alanis Morissette
We spend, or should I say, waste so much time letting other people get us down. We spend so much time trying to please everyone else. We spend so much time trying to impress the world. We spend so much time over-analyzing innocent comments into deflating insults that make us feel So Unsexy, so unloved, so boring, and so ignorant. When will we start staying with ourselves instead?
Here is Alanis Morissette's "So Unsexy." The first version here is acoustic and was recorded as part of a Sessions gig Alanis did in Vancouver in 2004. I actually heard this acoustic version before I heard the original and fell in love with it.
Below the acoustic version is a performance of the original version which you will see has much more of a rock feel to it than the more tame, yet (in my opinion) more powerful acoustic rendition. As always, lyrics provided below.
Hope you like it. :-)
Acoustic:
Performance of Original (because a performance is more entertaining than a still pictures):
"So Unsexy" - Alanis Morissette
Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could
Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?
Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me
I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind
"Any Day Now" by Missy Higgins
Here, Missy performs one of my very favorite songs of hers called "Any Day Now" at the Aquashell in Darling Harbour, Sydney, Australia. Lyrics provided below.
"Any Day Now" - Missy Higgins
How long, how long, how long will we take to come undone?
If you know the answer tell me now and I'll write up a calendar for our count down.
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got?
Say you've kept some fire aside to set light to me some surprising night.
And say you've locked some fire away to set light to me some surprising day.
Any day now...
How come, how come, how come I'm now on a road holding out my thumb?
If you know my destination please buy me the fastest car and throw me the keys.
'Cos what if what we see is all, is all we've got?
Say you've kept some fire aside to set light to me some surprising night.
And say you've locked some fire away to set light to me some surprising day.
'Cos finger by finger we're losing grasp and
I'm questioning the reasons why nothing beautiful does last...
Say you've kept some fire aside to set light to me some surprising night.
And say you've locked some fire away to set light to me some surprising day,
To me some surprising day...
Any day now...
"Nightminds" by Missy Higgins
"Nightminds" is my first Missy Higgins experience. 2.5 - 3 years ago, one of my best friends told me to look this song up. As you guessed or already know, I got hooked.
Since then, I've followed Missy's musical life, seen her twice in concert, taken a road trip (with said best friend) to see her, met her, and got her autograph. So I guess this song means even more to me now because, without it, I wouldn't have had some of the most amazing experiences of my life and I would have missed out on some outstanding singer-songwriter lyrics, chords, and vocals.
Thanks, friend. This post is for you and our nightminds. :-)
"Nightminds" - Missy Higgins
Just lay it all down.
Put your face into my neck and let it fall out.
I know, I know, I know.
I knew before you got home.
This world you're in now,
It doesn't have to be alone,
I'll get there somehow, 'cos
I know, I know, I know,
When even springtime feels cold.
But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
So we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise,
Out of our nightminds, and into the light
At the end of the fight.
You were blessed by a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.
The highs would make you fly, but the lows make you want to die.
And I was once there, hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.
So I know, I know, I know,
That it's easier to let go.
But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
So we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
And into the light at the end of the fight.
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
And into the light at the end of the fight.
"Destructive" by LeAnn Rimes
This is one of my very favorite angry, I-hate-the-world, leave-me-alone-I'm-raging-pissed songs. For me, it's all in the lyrics and vocals. For others, it's in screaming and loud noises. Those of you that prefer screaming and loud noises may not appreciate this song the same way I do, but that's okay. Anyway, I got SO excited when I found out she was performing a sessions-type version of this song for Live from Abbey Road. Ever since I first heard this song on her album Whatever We Wanna, I wanted to see her passion when performing it.
Here, at 08:05, LeAnn talks about the song before performing it. The lyrics are provided below.
I cannot embed the video with the 08:05 start time without it autoplaying, so either navigate to that start time or click HERE to go to vimeo and watch starting at that time.
"Destructive" - LeAnn Rimes
If I could smoke a cigarette right now, I would
Rip out of my skin, commit the sins, oh I could
If I could break a heart and throw it all away for just one night
My conscience wouldn't care if I just went ahead and wrecked my life.
I want to be destructive
Trash everything in site
Beat the Devil at his game
Abuse myself all night
I want to bitch the world out
One loud aching scream
Don't want anybody wanting anything from me
Yeah, yeah…
I'm sick of being perfect
With your perfect little smile
Pick a fight with danger
Be a stranger to myself for a while
I want to come unraveled
And have it out with my soul
I'm tired of all the voices telling me which way to go,
I wish you'd silence your opinion
That's the last thing that I want to know
I want to be destructive
Trash everything in site
Beat the Devil at his game
Abuse myself all night
I want to bitch the world out
One loud aching scream
Don't want anybody wanting anything from me
I'll fell better when I'm sane
But now I want to feel no pain
I'm really sick of thinking
I just want to be destructive
Oh, oh, oh…yeah…
I want to be destructive
Trash everything in site
Beat the Devil at his game
Abuse myself all night
I want to bitch the world out
One loud aching scream
Don't want anybody wanting anything from me
Yeah, yeah…
"First Train Home" by Imogen Heap
Here, Imogen Heap summarizes the context of her song "First Train Home." She is giving her description moments before the song's first play on US radio. Remember the part about the party...that will come up again. After it airs for the first time, Immi describes how it feels.
This is the official music video for "First Train Home" with the lyrics provided below.
"First Train Home" - Imogen Heap
Bodies disengaged, our mouths are fleshing over.
It's just an echo game, irises retreating to ovals of white.
The urge to feel your face, and blood rushing to paint my hand print.
A Frisbee one by one; your vinyl on laminate, just prefer some kind of contact.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
Got to catch, to catch, to catch-catch, catch.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First Train home
Temporal dead-zone where clocks are barely breathing.
Yet no one cares to notice for all the yelling, all night clamor to hold it together.
I want to play--don't wait--forms in the hideaway
I want to get on with getting on with things
I want to run in fields, paint the kitchen, and love someone
And I can't do any of that here, can I?
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home, I've got to get on it.
First train home.
So what? You've had one too many.
So what? I'm not that much fun to be with.
So what? You've come silly hatter.
So what? I didn't want to come here, anyway.
What matters you, doesn't matter, matter to me.
What matters to me, doesn't matter, matter to you.
What matters to you, doesn't matter, matter to them.
What matters to them, doesn't change anything.
Got to get on it.
First train home.
Got to get on it.
First train home.
First train home I've got to get on it
(I've got to get on it)
Got to catch, to catch, to catch-catch, catch.
(First train home)
First train home I've got to get on it
First train home.
(First train home)
Got to, Got to, Got to, Got to, Get, Get, Get, Get, Out, Out, Out, Out, Now, Now, Now, Now.
Now that you have seen the "official" video, take a look at the alternate video called "Imm's Party Version." Remember her mentioning that party in that first clip? Here's what Imogen has to say about this version of the video:
"This is the First Train Home alternative video I directed. I came up with the idea in a cab on the way home late one night and filmed it the next week.
"It's shot in the room I wrote the song in, which is above my studio where I recorded Ellipse. It's me and a load of my friends I borrowed for the day to boss around.
...
"So many of you have been following and getting involved in Ellipse...[that] it felt wrong to do a video that was so impersonal which I felt the original one was. Even a bit cold and detached. This new video won't win any awards but I felt I wanted to make it. Some of the people dancing about have been around me so much during the making of Ellipse.
...
"... Good times. Hope you enjoy it. The odd thing of course is that this is my IDEAL party and not at all the party I was singing about...which I desperately didn't want to be a part of...and got on the first train out of Brighton to get away from it."
Enjoy.
This song is a masterpiece. It is obvious that each millisecond of this track has Imogen's heart and soul in it. Each moment has such meticulous detail. It's simply beautiful from the beginning hints of a railroad to the rather abrupt ending.
By the way, Imogen recently won a Grammy for her album Ellipse. I highly recommend buying it. ;-) This is one of the best albums I've heard.
Can't wait to see you again tonight, Immi! You're brilliant!
"Strong" by LeAnn Rimes
Here is my third favorite song. Honestly, the lyrics describe it all. Oh how I love you, LeAnn. The "money maker" at the end is my favorite part. :-)
This comes from LeAnn Rimes' international album called Whatever We Wanna. Unfortunately, it has become a bit difficult to purchase. Anyway, this is arguably LeAnn's best album. Country? In short, no...not at all, thank you.
"Strong" - LeAnn Rimes
The light of my life's been stolen
I've walked in every shade of black
And I never thought I would get me back
It's funny how life can change you
And make you who you are today
I wonder if God set it up that way
For me to be...
Strong, even when it hurts
The heat, it's gonna burn
Gotta let it go
Strong, Strong
Make a big mistake and never run away
There's nothing like this feeling
To be free and unafraid
Who ever thought I could be this brave
Learning every day?
Strong, even when it hurts
The heat, it's gonna burn
Gotta let it go
Strong, Strong
Make a big mistake and never run away
I wanna push away the boundaries
I wanna love outside the lines
I wanna stare at the sun beam
Don't care if I go blind
Whatever comes
Whatever breaks
I'll stand up straight
Strong, even when it hurts
The heat, it's gonna burn
Gotta let it go
Strong, Strong
Make a big mistake and never run away
Never run away,
No, no, no!
Strong!
Strong!
"Steer" by Missy Higgins
On my list of favorite songs, this is number two: "Steer". Here, Missy Higgins recalls the moment she was inspired to create this remarkable and inspirational song. Lyrics are provided below.
"Steer" - Missy Higgins
Feel it falling off like clothing
Taste it rolling on your tongue
See the lights above you glowing
Oh and breathe them deep into your lungs
It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been pulling at the strings playing puppeteer for kings
And you've had enough
But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
So hold this feeling like a newborn
Of freedom surging through your veins
You have opened up a new door
So bring on the wind, fire, and rain
It was always simple, not hidden hard
You've been played at a game called remembering your name
And you stuffed it up
But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Ohh, yeah now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
'Cos you've been listening for answers
Oh, but the city screams and all your dreams go unheard
But the search ends here
Where the night is totally clear
And your heart is fierce
So now you finally know that you control where you go
You can steer
Ohh, yeah, get out of the box and step into the clear
Ohh, 'cos now you finally know you can steer
How intimidating and liberating it is to come to this realization. To understand that you have the steering wheel for your life in your own hands is a remarkable moment. You should see her perform this LIVE! Ah! I highly recommend her album On a Clear Night.
May 24, 2008 @ 00:11, Aspen, CO, USA
"Incomplete" by Alanis Morissette
I have arrived at a point in my life where I can say I have a favorite song. It's seriously my absolute favorite song. It's called "Incomplete," it's by Alanis Morissette, and it's on her album titled Flavors of Entanglement (I recommend the Deluxe Edition, but here's the standard version too). Here, Alanis explains the thoughts behind her phenomenal song:
Here is the song with lyrics provided below, followed by some thoughts from me.
"Incomplete" - Alanis Morissette
One day I'll find relief
I'll be arrived
And I'll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends
One day I'll be at peace
I'll be enlightened and I'll be married with children and maybe adopt
One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete
One day my mind will retreat
And I'll know God
And I'll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I'll be secure
Like the women I see on their thirtieth anniversaries
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete
Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
But never done
One day I will speak freely
I'll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I'll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home
I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete
Rapture: An intense feeling of pleasure or joy.
Rapture is the key to this song and everything it's about. "And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete." There is so much pleasure and joy to be found in knowing I'm not perfect and I'm not even supposed to be perfect. The rapture is found in my journey. And it's not found by looking at my past; it's not found by imagining my possible future - imagining a finish line... Rapture is simply found in personal growth.
The rapture is found here. Now. Right this very moment.
Live it. Love it. Feel it!
Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe
This posting is a bit different for me. I would like to take a blog moment to pay tribute to my favorite portrait photograph. I was first introduced to this portrait of Marilyn Monroe by Richard Avedon in my Digital Photography class Spring semester of 2008. I fell in love the moment I saw it. So in love, in fact, that I now have an almost-life-sized print of this photo beautifully framed and hanging in my house. If that doesn't emphasize my passion about this portrait, I don't know how else to convince you. ;-)
Below you will find the following: said portrait, a video clip from American Masters - Richard Avedon: Darkness and Light (1996) where Avedon recounts the moment this portrait of Marilyn was captured, a critique on the photograph by Maria Morris Hambourg and Mia Fineman from their elegant book Avedon's Endgame, and my own closing critique and remarks. Enjoy!
Marilyn Monroe, Actress, New York City, May 6, 1957 Richard Avedon (American, 1923-2004) Gelatin silver print
This is a clip from PBS American Masters, Richard Avedon: Darkness and Light, Directed by Helen Whitney, 1996. Here, Avedon himself reflects on the exact moment this glorious portrait was taken.
I really enjoyed the following critique on this portrait. Please note, these are not my comments, but those of Maria Morris Hambourg and Mia Fineman from Avedon's Endgame; I want to make sure they receive the credit for their insightful remarks:
"In Marilyn Monroe, Avedon found a virtuoso of theatrical self-impersonation and with her pursued the mysterious point of convergence between actor and character, between the private self and the public role. 'There was no such person as Marilyn Monroe,' he explained in an interview with the filmmaker Helen Whitney [clip above]. 'Marilyn Monroe was someone Marilyn Monroe invented, line an author creates a character.' Recalling a session that took place at his studio on a May evening in 1957, he continued: 'For hours she danced and sang and flirted and did this thing that's -- she did Marilyn Monroe. And then there was the inevitable drop. And when the night was over and the white wine was over and the dancing was over, she sat in the corner like a child, with everything gone. I saw her sitting quietly without expression on her face, and I walked towards her but I wouldn't photograph her without her knowledge of it. And as I came with the camera, I saw that she was not saying no.'
"The famous portrait that resulted from this session is a study of the complex nature of celebrity. Entombed in her body, Avedon's Marilyn is a secular madonna mourning some indefinable loss. The picture is imbued with a sense of inferiority that seems worlds away from the rigid mask in Andy Warhol's posthumous silk screens of Marilyn as a gaudily glamorous pop icon. While Avedon's portrait foreshadowed the tragic figure Marilyn would soon become in the popular imagination, Warhol's silk screens, made shortly after her death from a drug overdose in 1962, have the still and distant quality of memorials. Yet neither Avedon's humanist portrayal of a sad seductress nor Warhol's luric canonization of her vivacious, wet-lipped counterpart reveals the real Marily Monroe. The truth of Avedon's portrait lies in a new character, a melancholy heroine collaboratively created by the photographer and his subject."
Hambourg, Maria Morris, and Mia Fineman. Avedon's Endgame. New York City: Harry N. Abrams, Incorporated, New York, and The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 2002.
This is a picture of my framed print of this portrait. This print was originally made for sale during a special exhibition of Richard Avedon's work at The Metropolitan Museum of Art September 26, 2002 - Jan 5, 2003. After a year of searching, I finally got my hands on it!
I am still at a loss to fully explain why I am so moved by this picture. I didn't (and still don't) know a lot about Marilyn Monroe and her life, but when I was first struck by this portrait, I knew enough to let it take me away. Her facial expression and bodily posture say, "What have I been doing? What have I done? Why am I doing this? And when will it end?" We all do things we're not proud of, get lost in the moment, and have these same striking realizations where we ask ourselves those same questions.
I guess, for me, I found solace in this portrait through empathy. Marilyn Monroe, oddly enough, became someone for me to relate to. Would I have felt the same had I not known anything about the personal life of the woman in the picture? I'm not sure. But either way, her facial expression and posture would ask the same questions. I believe the same message would be conveyed, but it is even more powerful with it being conveyed through this seemingly uncharacteristic, yet stunningly beautiful portrait of Marilyn Monroe.